Dixie Dilemma

Memory fields

"Dad..?" Texas' voice was shaking, scared of what was happening. His father had seen the photos, looked at them and then him straight in the eye before he froze, standing in place. "Answer me god dammit!" He shook America, grabbing him and holding him tight. He was scared, for once in his life he was scared for his dad.

After a few moments of crying America seemed to have come back to himself because he looked down at the state and patted his head soothingly, whispering that he was fine and nothing was wrong. Texas knew it was a lie, but he didn't want to lose his father at the curse of being ignorant so he gave into the lies.

It took a few minutes before the southern state calmed down properly to gain the ability to communicate once more. Sitting up straight he turned around, rummaging through the pile of things that had fallen when he hugged America crying, and pulled out the photos again noticing immediately the way the American stiffened at the sight but didn't say anything so he took it as a sign to keep going. He put them on the ground before them, spreading them out so you could see each one correctly and turned to face his father.

America was...having a bit of a problem currently, said problem being how he was going to explain those photographs to his child when they held his supposed dead brother in them. Texas looked at him expectantly, waiting for the other to do something, say something, anything ! America but his lip as he looked at them, painful memories flooding his mind at the sight of each one, they burned their way back to the surface of his mind and reminded him of everything . He wanted to cry, break down, something!

But alas, his child was still in front of him waiting for an answer and he'd sworn to be a hero for his children even if that meant holding back tears as he talked about one of the most sensitive topics of his existence. "...where would you like me to start..?" His voice cracked in the middle and was wobbly towards the end, but if Texas noticed -and he most likely did- he kept to himself and ignored it much to the Americans 'happiness'.

The Texan pointed to the picture that was under all the others, at the corner of the small "exhibition" he had created. In the photo was the northern and southern counterparts grinning happily in a field looking much younger than now. With a sigh the American began to explain, it pained him, hurt him like a knife to the heart but it was inevitable and he knew it would happen someday soon, it seemed he simply hoped he'd have more time to prepare before he spilled his guts lined with the secrets of his twin.

He didn't tell his child who it was yet, he wanted to ease him into it as it seemed to shake him quite a bit, though he suspected the shorter already knew who it was. He related how the field was in bloom and the smiles that would surround him that were unforgettable, even after everything that had happened. The Texan smiled, it was soft and knowing, then again his kids had almost been with him as long as he'd been alive so he supposed it was obvious their understanding with everything that had happened.

They knew how much rested on his shoulders especially with how many of them there were, no matter how many times he denied that they were of any burden it was obvious even to those oblivious that the longer he'd stay with them and take of work, the more his eye bags would deepen upon his return to the office and how little he'd come home, eat or even sleep. It was no joke how much they relied on him that he relied on them, if not most of the time literally dragged out of his work it would consume him and he wouldn't leave for atleast a week and despite being a country even for him it wasn't completely escapable.

The next photo was when they were a little older, they had bags under their eyes and appeared disheveled and tired but even despite that they looked at each other with such happiness he couldn't deny how much it made him long for his brother to look at him like that once more. He explained it was after the revolution, when they had won and were free, exhausted or bout it was a tradition and they were more than happy to complete it once more with dopey smiles and relaxed posture as they had, once more, won the battle. He reminisced at the message that was written on the back of the photo, "we're going to win together no matter what!" Texas must've noticed it too, but upon glancing at his dad shaking and on the verge of tears he spared them both, that could be a conversation for another time he supposed.

After a small break for a hug and Americas to regain his wits pulled out another photo, this one seemed much older by at least fifty years and was darker, the edges of the paper were fringed and he handled it carefully as he gave it to the North American. With a solemn expression he recounted how that was half way through the civil war, Texas remembered and cringed slightly at the memory but encouraged America to continue explaining the matter, how they'd taken their photos each separately and then he'd stitched them together to appear whole once more.

The longer the conversation got the more he felt uncomfortable as the air around them got heavier, it felt like there was something at the tip of the iceberg waiting to drop, every passing seconds it got closer and closer to falling.

"And then as you, obviously, know...I killed him." Texas nodded as he parted his fathers back reassuringly, though he noticed something, it didn't appear like he was done. Skeptically he kept listening to the other.

"And well after a while of silence he-" he was cut off by a loud crash, the state looked around quickly as it sounded right next to him only to see nothing, the only thing out of place was the box of memories tipped over. Confused he leaned back and set it straight, but upon looking at the other American he saw him staring off to side with an annoyed look.

"What! Are you being serious?! You motherfucker!" It was...odd, to say the least, to watch his father talk to air with such a pissed off expression like it had insulted him and his existence. With an increasingly mad pout that made him look like a mad puppy he turned back to the Texan and with a sigh slowly got to his feet.

"We should go down, it's time for dinner." With a confused look Texas followed him not noticing the box of memories being spilled once more.

A/N: Critiques are welcome,

I was gonna keep going but realized how long it's been since I posted on this story so just decided to post this instead. I'll try and get the next chapter out quicker. No promises tho