Chapter Fourteen: You Should Leave

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Saylor's POV:

It's been nearly a week since I've tasted Emerson's lips and I have had absolutely no contact since.

It's not that I don't want to talk to her, I just don't have her number and I haven't wanted to see Hadley. Hadley has the potential to mess all of this up for me and I won't allow it. I have to keep both relationships completely separate and that's a stressful thing to manage, especially when I don't exactly know where Emerson and I stand.

While Emerson and I have had no contact, Hadley keeps blowing up my phone, asking to hang out and plan stuff for the wedding.

I pull out my phone, seeing the 20th message she left me today as I print off some paperwork at work. I sigh as I read the message and massage my temples. I know I can't continue to ignore her and that it's not going to help matters, I just don't know if I can look her in the eyes and lie about my involvement with Emerson.

I put my phone away, grabbing my copies as I leaving the printing room, just barely noticing a girl sitting on the bench by the main entryway.

My eyes quickly look over, seeing familiar black waves and tan skin as she mindlessly scrolls on her phone.

"Mia?" I ask, walking over to her.

Mia's brown eyes look up to meet mine, her backpack placed next to her as she registers who I am, "Saylor?"

I arch my brow, "what are you doing here?"

"My mom works here." She states.

My eyes widen, "oh, well... congrats on winning princess."

Mia half-heartily smiles, "thanks."

"You don't seem too excited." I comment.

She shrugs her shoulders, "it's something my mom wanted... not necessarily something I did."

I nod, trying to be understanding, "it's still a big accomplishment and it's going to help on applications."

Mia shrugs her shoulders, "I guess."

"Just think of it this way, out of eight girls... the whole town saw potential in you. That's got to account for something." I state.

"Yeah, but it's also scary having all those eyes on you at all times now. I don't feel like I have room to just be myself and that's something I wasn't prepared for." She admits.

I sigh as I take a seat next to her, "I know. High school is tricky. You're at a pivotal point in your life with discovery and finding yourself. That is hard enough to do on your own, let alone with a whole town watching. Trust me, I get it."

She shakes her head, "how did you get through it?"

I sigh, knowing I didn't exactly go about it in the best of ways. I kept myself so busy I failed to even really connect with who I am and stunted myself. I didn't give myself time to discover, so here I am, finally finding the availability to do so.

"Honestly, I ignored and failed to do a heavy amount of self-reflection in high school. I can tell you first hand that it was probably my biggest mistake because I am just now finally figuring out who I am and what that entails." I explain.

Mia nods as she listens to me, the gears inside her head turning. I was was fortunate enough to start to rediscover myself at 26, some don't get that chance and don't find out until much later. I'm fortunate and even if Emerson and I end up not becoming a thing, I'm grateful she helped push this discovery along.

I could have ended up not knowing why I couldn't connect with men and why all my relationships failed without discovering that maybe men isn't what I want. I still don't know whether or not men are still on the table, to be honest, I just know women now are, but at least I found out now, instead of later on down the line when my opportunities and the future I want becomes less likely.

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