❝ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴍʏ ᴜɴɪᴠᴇʀꜱᴇ ❞ ✧ ೃ༄

ੈ✩‧₊˚𝙈𝙤𝙤𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙈𝙖𝙘 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙚𝙨𝙚

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Helena - My Chemical Romance

Moons Pov;;

I was distraught at what I was watching. It was the earth and Jupiter having gay sex.. I was horrified that earth would betray me like this. He told me that he broke up with mars and wasn't dating anyone but me. He told me that I was the only one he loved and we would be together forever. 

I guess that was all a lie. as I watch Jupiter absolutely destroy earth and that bed I have a thought. My life isn't worth living without earth. I love earth but he will never love me. I go home and write a note to earth.

3rd Person Pov;;

Earth leaves the hospital a few hours later. He goes home wondering if he is gay.
"I can't be gay.. I was just joking.. even though Jupiter is the hottest person I've laid eyes on I can't be gay. #notgay"
He ponders but decides to stop since he isn't gay and he knows. He then think he should have Mac and cheese he reaches the door to his house and opens it. There he finds moon has hung herself. He looks below her at a note to earth. It reads,

"Dear earth, I loved you so but you love Jupiter more. I'm sorry I couldn't provide you enough love. I was always helping others and being a therapist friend... but I'm broken too. But no one helped me with my problems. I know I bottle up my feelings and never talked about it when someone wanted to help but I wished someone helped me. My life was so difficult no one ever did the dishes for me or helped me do simple tasks. No one ever bought me that purse I wanted.. I'm so sad about that too. Earth I love you I want to tell you that 1,000 times. But I know you wouldn't say it once to me. Hehe.. I guess I deserved this, goodbye earth."

Earth looks at the note and at moon in shocked.
"Why do my girlfriends always die?? And they always say it was my fault. Maybe you should just not feel like this you know? Just be happy and of course avoid death. Am I the problem? I need to post this on r/AmItheAsshole. I'll do that later. time to make Mac and cheese! #Macancheese"

Earth leaves unbothered by moon being dead. He didn't even call the police or anything. He literally left Moon hanging up there like she was a disco-ball, he just continued with his day. Earth walks into the kitchen and finds microwave Mac and cheese bowl and put it into the microwave.

Uranus Pov;;

Today I ran into Venus. "HELLO URANUS"

"Hi Vesnus" We continued talking and somehow started shit talking about Mercury.

 
"So Mercury broken up with u?"

"YEAH HE DIDNT FUCKING DO THE DISHES HE NEVER DOES. IM GLAD WE ARE BROKEN UP HE WAS USELESS. NEVER DOING ANYTHING"

"Yea usless just like Pluto.." I mutered under my breth

"OH PLUTO DID YOU HEAR? HE IS HAPPY NOW AND HAS FRIENDS"

"WHAT?! That usless plante has fries??"

"YEAH"

 
We both continu taking but I can't get the fact that Pluto is hapy out of my heed. Pluto is my kid but me and nuptune abandon his ass since he was a dwarf planet. Me and Venus both part ways and me go home.

 
"Nuptune? U herere?" I yell out into the house

"yeah I'm here." Her tone was flat (like her ass). But that was normal for Neptune she acted very lackadaisical toward everything.

 
"O what r u doing?"

"nothing much."

"Boring as eever"

We both stayed quite for a few seconds. I know Nuptune hates Pluto but I neded to tell her. I had to tell her. But I don't want to say it since she gets all worked up if I mention Pluto.

 
"Nuptune did you here? Pluto is happy and has friends.." I say this unsure of how she would react to this information.

"WHAT?"

Extra: earths Reddit post on r/AmItheAsshole

Aita? My girlfriends keep dying and they think I'm the cause of it.

So I've had a shit ton of girlfriends and I cheat on them regularly. And it just so happens that I've had five of them die and write a note detailing that it was my fault. But it wasn't! I didn't say for them to do that. Just be happy you know? It's so simple. I've had more die from "accidents" and they might have been my fault but those five aren't my fault I swear! Personally I think I'm in the right and I did nothing wrong but if five people tell me I'm the problem then just maybe it's me? My 5th side bitch, her name was moon, hung herself and said that me fucking my bro made her kill herself. Tbh, I think shes homophobic cuz why would she have a problem with me having super hard core sex like in those german porn videos? Idk man, i'm not gay tho! Being gay is werid af, me and him were just fucking around. idk, am I the asshole?

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Wassup ya'll credits to owner 2 (bear) for basically writing this whole chapter. Istg idk how tf she does it but here we are. Crack? 100%. Touched grass? 0%.

Next Chapter will be posted tmrw between 5:50-9:10 (PST)

LOVE U ALL BYEEEEEEEEEE