Lizzie And Mac

Chapter 20

Frat Parties, Ear Infections, And Lach Monster

Lizzie

Wow, the past few months have been a whirlwind, I'm half exhausted, and half ready to turn around and go back to work.  I moved in with Steffi in January, right after I finished my last big contracted job, I have a few more jobs, but they're smaller, and don't require travel.  On a very sunny and beautiful day in early January, Stef and the guys picked me up at the airport and drove me straight to the dorms where they proceeded to help me move in.  The guys were amazing, and they took god knows how many phone numbers from the girls the met in the parking lot and hallways.  Those boys are good looking, they know it, and they know how to use it.  In fact, halfway through my move in, Parker and Luke disappeared, and we didn't see them for 2 more days.  They showed up happy, tired, and looking like hell.  Luke laughed and said if he'd known there were so many hot girls at university, that he might have thought about giving school a chance, Parker laughed, and told him 'no fuckin way dude, we were never gonna land in school, it took all we had to just get out of high school', they laughed, then took Steffi and I out to breakfast before they headed back home.

It's been a few months and i've settled into classes, though man, I was not prepared for how difficult they were going to be.  I'm smart, I did very well in high school, and I even did a few on line classes while I was working/travelling over the last semester.  So this took me by surprise, I've even signed up for some tutoring help in my chemistry nightmare class.  I plan on graduating in 4 years, and if at all possible, earlier than that, so I will be hitting every chemistry tutoring opportunity available.

Socially, Stef had made quite a few nice friends while I was gone, and they all accepted me into the group, they're a fun group of girls, and most are single like me.  Some of them are hoping to find boyfriends, I'm not though, I just kind of want to find me.  We dress up, we go to parties and games, hit a few bars (the kind of places that don't look to hard at our fake ID's) but we hang out and talk a lot.  So that might be my favorite part, meeting other girls, we're all different from totally different backgrounds, but we're all pretty nice and fun.  

The difference with the girls here at school, is that unlike the girls back home, no-one knows my backstory here.  I'm not the girl with no dad, and the drunk party mom, nobody knows that I lived in the Mystical Nightmare, or rarely had enough to eat till I moved in with Steffi.  People here know that I grew up with Steffi, and that she and her family are my family, DNA blood doesn't matter, the Sanders are my family.

I've gone on a few dates, nothing really exciting, and no one I've been super interested in, but I'm not feeling weird about dating anymore.  While I was working last fall, I went out a few times with a couple of different guys, for fun, not looking for romance, but it felt wrong, I was uncomfortable, and I felt awkward.  Now I'm not feeling that way, ok, I'm still an awkward dater, but now I'm excited about meeting new guys, and maybe I'll find my own version of Slater.  He and Stef are perfect, he doesn't pressure her to come home or not go out, he just laughs when she tells him what she's been up to, he visits her here, she goes home, but for the most part, they've found a way to make it work.

Some of the girls have these super dramatic, and in my opinion toxic relationships, lots of crying and tears, yelling, jealousy, that is not what I want.  I'm gonna follow Stefs path, and find a really nice guy, who is funny and loving.  

 I see Slate all the time, but I only really keep up with Coop on a regular basis, we call and text, occasionally he'll stop by if he's out for the club, or if he just wants to catch up with Steffi and me.He's also looking in to taking some classes, I don't know if he'll be a full time student, or if he's going to do it online, he should, he is ,by far ,the smartest guy I know.

Slater and Steffi also let me know when Mac had his baby, and like it was predicted by everyone, the moment Savanna was released from the hospital, she left her son and headed out of town  That was most definitely the kindest thing she could have done for him, Stef said she wrote on some piece of paper that she was 'giving the baby to his dad, she didn't want him'.  Hopefully Lachlan will never see that paper, but seriously, that trash put herself on the curb, buh bye bitch.

Like he promised, Mac sent me a picture of Lachlan when he was born, he was beautiful, so small and sweet, just perfect looking.  I sent them a few baby books, and a sweet little outfit, but aside from that, I've kept my distance.  Mac has his hands full with being a single parent, and I'm a student struggling in chem.  Both of us are challenged, separately, we're going on different paths, in different directions, with different goals.

I saw him once, he was at the club, we spoke for a minute, then he left to go feed and change his boy.  It was a nice conversation, no anger, no sadness, just positive words and feelings.  We left saying goodbye, and I felt like the past was behind us, we wished each other well, but we've moved on.  I felt that, but I was also a little sad, especially when he didn't profess his 'undying love' for me, not that he ever meant those words in the past, but in all honesty, I did miss hearing them.

My life right now, is everything I've ever wanted, Stef and I are working towards our career dreams, and we're having a damn fine time while we're doing it!

Mac

I sometimes feel like I'm starting to get the dad shit together, I'm feeding my little dude, I'm cleaning him up, and he's laughing and growing, then all of a sudden he's got a high as fuck fever, he's screaming and I'm rushing him to the hospital.  I was pretty sure they were gonna rush him through the hallways, slap him in some scary room, and have the whole fuckin staff try to figure out what's wrong with my boy.

Well, it turns out, my boy had an ear infection.  No one rushed down the halls to help us, we put our names in at admitting, then waited almost 3 hours to see mostly a bitchy nurse who was snarky and rude as fuck, totally disrespectful, and a super tired doctor who gave us approximately 3 minutes of her time.  

After the doctor left, my dad and Kat met us at the hospital, with Kilt trying not to laugh at me, and Kat being sweet, but telling me next time to call one of the other parents and bounce some ideas off them.  What the fuck ever.  My boy was hot as hell, crying, and obviously hurting, he needed to be seen right away.  Unfortunately we got stuck with Nurse Fuck Face, and the disappearing doctor.

But, the point I'm trying to make is, I'm really feeling like I'm gonna be a good dad.  I'm trying so fucking hard, I'm reading parenting books, watching fucking videos online of the best way to burp a baby.  I've got this, and I know I've got this because I love my little dude.  He's my fucking destiny, we were bound to be together, it just happened in a different way.  He'll never know the details, he'll just think is bio mom is like my bio mom was, a partier who wanted to party, not mom.  Not a big deal, we're gonna be cool.

I talked to a counselor Kat found for a couple weeks, but, it wasn't totally me.  I appreciated what she had to say, and I did learn a fuck of a lot about why I felt angry and freaked out.  But she said one thing that just stopped me from breathing, 'your baby is coming, whether you're ready or not, you can welcome him with love and excitement, you can resent him for how he came in to being, or you can give him to someone who will love and cherish him.  Unfortunately you don't have long to decide, so for both your sakes, look deep inside, and try to find the answer.'  

I swear, that was it, I knew I already loved my boy, and I was gonna show him, just like Kilt showed me.  Fuck Savanna, fuck my mom, I've got the love for my boy, so do my dad and friends, that's all he needs.  My little man is the king of the club, just like he should be, everybody loves him, and he's a spoiled little shit, he's fucking awesome, and I tell him that even damn day.

So yeah, I'm still processing all of what went down with the bitch, but I don't really think of it that much, I'm moving on.  If I had to deal with that Savanna situation to get my boy, then I'd do it over and over again, because my boy is worth EVERYTHING.

Now Lizzie, my sweet Lizzie, that hurts, that will always hurt until I can change it, and I'll change it, when the time is right, we'll work it out.  But for now, my love and time are spent on my bad ass baby, the Lach Monster.