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A Midsummer Night's Dream - Detailed Feedback

Intro:

This review is for both A Midsummer Night's Dream and Your Devil: A Doomed Catastrophe, but for sake of brevity in the title, I only put one, I hope that's okay. Both of these stories are by the talented author Pviscelle, and one, A Midsummer Night's Dream, is a fantasy story while the other, Your Devil, is a Jeon Jungkook fanfiction.

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A Midsummer Night's Dream - Detailed Feedback

What Worked:

I like how the main character, the female protagonist, isn't a good person. It's not even up for debate that she's just... terrible. However, there is more to her than her morally wrong deeds and obvious issues with impulse control.

I also like the decision to write this from the perspective of the incubus describing her life. I think that was an interesting decision that was unique from anything I have seen before. The way the incubus describes her is really nicely done, and after reading the ending, it packs a different punch upon rereading.

I like the overall concept of the story. I have only seen an incubus story once before, and it wasn't as dark as this one. It was more, uh... "fun." Which I suppose makes sense considering what an incubus is, but I appreciate how you covered the dark idea behind an incubus and didn't shy away from it.

Another thing I enjoyed was how much there is to think about in this story. There is a lot of darkness, but it feels like it contributes and isn't just dark for the sake of being dark. Many authors be dark just for the sake of it, but this is very purposeful and it definitely feels that way. It comes across as thought-provoking.

While on the topic, something I appreciate about your writing is how you aren't scared to make people think. There is rarely a clear answer that you tell us, but rather you show us what we need to then let us fill in the blanks.

It's a very thoughtful piece that covers the darker side of humanity, mostly through the main character, who is engaging. The entire story is engaging and I didn't even realize the eleven minutes had passed by until I reached the end and got the "next chapter" button.

I think this is an overall solid story and not what I was expecting, but I mean that in a good way. It took me off guard because after reading YD a few times before reading any of your other work, I was not expecting you to go where you went with this story, but I'm so glad you did. It shows you aren't scared to explore different themes, settings, and ideas, which shows how versatile you are as an author.

Versatile authors are the best since they always bring something new to the table. This story has its own style and unique flavor that makes it stand out, and even though I have three of your four works (Remember You, YD, and now this), I find myself feeling like each one is distinctly different despite being written by the same author.

You give every piece its own rich flavor while having the central core of your writing style still there. I admire that a lot, and I hope you're proud of yourself for being able to execute different ideas and separate them from your previous works. It's much harder than it sounds, and you do it very well!

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What Didn't Work:

I actually don't have many suggestions, and of the suggestions I have, they're technical.

There are some grammar errors and sentences that made me scratch my head. The one that stood out the most was this:

"He acknowledged it, too but never made his sentiments regarding it apparent, always dodging around and keeping their conversation short and astute."