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Beyond Midgard - Detailed Feedback

Intro:

Beyond Midgard is a fantasy story written by sailorofnaglfar. It features a complex narrative that takes from mythology to craft a story. It's a unique read with a lot of different things going on to keep the reader engaged.

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Detailed Feedback

What Worked:

I like the details you put into Ashild and her daily routine. Typically I tell authors to get to the point as soon as they can in the first chapter, but I like how you spent some time with Ashild instead of throwing all the mythological stuff at us first thing.

Along with that, I like how you take time at the beginning to establish the world. Not only does this act as a contrast to the world we're about to see, it also grounds us in the reality Ashild is living in.

The setting of the story feels specific and intentionally chosen. Too many times I see books where the location doesn't matter, but you don't have this issue. Like I said before, the setting feels realistic, and I like how you took time to flesh it out. The worldbuilding is solid throughout, but especially in the first chapter where we're introduced to the "normal" world, then more of the mythological stuff as time goes on.

In general, I think the first chapter is pretty solid and I don't have any creative suggestions for it. It does a great job introducing the main character and the world she's going to get thrusted into. It provides good contrast between her world and what awaits her, and the characterization is solid too.

Let me expand on the first point since I wasn't very specific: I like the details you chose to use to describe the world, characters, and events. For example, from the first chapter, I like how you specifically said Lost Horizon by James Hilton instead of not being specific. The more specific the details, the easier it is for readers to remember what's going on while also painting a clear picture about the content the reader is consuming.

I can tell you put a lot of love into this story. It feels very passionate based on the chapter length and how you keep the same quality standard throughout the word count. Based on the read time of each chapter, I'm willing to guess you have around 5-7k words per chapter. It takes countless hours to write, edit, and brainstorm ideas for just one chapter, let alone a chapter of that length, so I appreciate the time and effort you put in to create this narrative.

As someone who used to write really long chapters, I can personally attest to how difficult it is to consistently write that much. You're doing a great job and I hope you continue the story at some point, as long as it isn't a detriment to your mental health, of course.

Now I should probably talk about the plot. I like the plot. There is a lot going on, like I mentioned in the intro, but it works since the chapters flesh out the details. The things I have to say about the plot I pretty much covered already. I like the way you pace things and give every event time to breathe before moving on to the next.

Even when things are moving fast and the reader is trying to figure out what's going on, I think it's effective at putting us in Ashild's shoes and making us feel closer to her.

I know this is based on mythology, but I appreciate the names being so unique. I don't know much about mythology so I have no idea which names are original, from other sources, or a mix of both, but the unique names help separate the characters.

There are only three chapters out, so it's a little too early for me to comment deeply on the characters, themes, and plot, but I think there is enough for me to tell you the worldbuilding is solid, the plot is moving well so far, the characters are distinct, and the details do a good job at painting a clear picture.