Itzy had become the most famous band in the world. But fame had left Yeji bored and disillusioned. As if they had been waiting for this moment, Britain's covert intelligence agency, MI6, recruits the young star and trains her to be the most dangerou...
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Yeji spent ten days locked in a cargo container on a gigantic ship that brought her back from France to Korea. Commercial flights were out of the question, and a private jet would be too conspicuous, even in Seoul. So they gave her a fluorescent camp light, some survival food, water, a bag of batteries, a bucket, and then locked their greatest asset inside a metal box. Real James Bond stuff, she laughed.
During the trip, she meditated, worked out, and often ended up simply laying on the thin foam pad they gave her, listening to her breathing and feeling the gentle vibrations of the ship.
She kept having the Kitchen Dream over and over. In the container, she didn't know if it was day or night, so the whole experience seemed to be a dream, a dream in a dream in a dream...
Ryujin. But what were they to each other?
The two of them had never discussed the kiss that Yeji had with Winter. Ryujin was keeping so far away from her, and Yeji didn't understand why it was becoming so unbearable for her. They were just friends. Soon she developed a constant, painful emptiness in her belly. She kept seeing Ryujin's face, so full of hurt, as she replayed the kiss over and over.
Ryujin... I never meant to hurt you. I didn't know. Or did I not want to see?
Then why did you?
What do you feel for me?
I love you, Yeji. I always have. How could you be so selfish?
I don't know. Maybe I'm just horrible...
I'll never believe it, ever, Yeji. Would I love you if you were so horrible?
I don't know. I don't know anymore. I have a secret. I have two secrets and they're fighting.
I know what you do, my love. And I know the secret you.
What am I then?
You're the woman I love, and I'm the woman you love. Just love me, Yeji. Come to me.
I'm scared, Ryujin, scared all the time.
Yeji, I'll keep you safe.
But you can't. They'll be done with me, and then they'll kill me.
Never. I'm a titan, I'll keep chaos and danger and even time away from you.
Yeji sat up, tears streaming down her face, her body covered in sweat.
That's it. There's no going back. Ever.
. . . . .
When she finally got back to the dorm, she looked for Ryujin. Lia told her that she had gone to visit her parents for the day. Yeji was about to burst. She needed to see Ryujin immediately.
Yeji was an avid runner. She laced up her shoes and started to run toward Ryujin's parents' house. It was about 15 miles, and she made it in only 90 minutes. Unsure of what to do, she just waited by Ryujin's car, terrified, pacing back and forth. She was worried that the anger she channeled from her secret life had mixed with her feelings for Ryujin. Of course, she'd never hurt her, but in her secret life she was allowed, even encouraged, to let her dark side take control, to not see people as they were, but to see them like two-dimensional targets on a shooting range. Her job was to make them comply.
Then the door opened. Ryujin got halfway down the steps when she saw Yeji. Her face had a blank, lifeless expression. Yeji ran across the street to the base of the stairs.
"Hey," Ryujin said flatly, "What're you doing here?"
"I have to talk to you. I... I... have to tell you something important."
Ryujin rolled her eyes. "Ok, what?"
"I'm not sure how to put it... I mean, I'm all jumbled up. Nothing makes sense. I'm really scared, Ryujin. I can't get the words to fit together. You have to help me make some sense, to show me... I don't know, that maybe -"
"For god's sake, Yeji, just get it out. I'm really not in the mood for -"
"I love you."
Ryujin's jaw dropped open, and she tilted her head slightly to the side. She took a deep breath.
"I want to believe that, so what? Did Winter dump you, so now you're on the rebound? I've done nothing but wait, and done everything to be there, and then, what? You jump on her, right in front of me."
Yeji began sobbing. "It wasn't like that, I mean, she was just trying to make Karina jealous."
"But you kissed her back."
"I know, I know. I swear that I didn't know how you felt about me. I was clueless, or didn't want to see it. I'd never kissed a girl, Ryujin. I was surprised that I didn't freak out, and I wanted to see what it felt like if I did it, if I was acting on my own. I swear, Winter and I laughed about how stupid it was, and she even told me that you had feelings for me. I didn't know, I'm so, so sorry!"
Ryujin's expression seemed to soften. "Let's go for a walk." She started off down the street. Yeji followed, walking behind her, afraid to see Ryujin's angry eyes.
They reached a small park, where a group of children were feeding a bunch of rambunctious squirrels. They took a seat on a bench not too far away, so they could watch them.
Meekly Yeji asked "Are we ok? I mean, even just as friends?"
"Let's not talk."
"Ok," Yeji responded.
For 15 minutes they sat in silence, watching the squirrels. Yeji stole side looks at Ryujin's face. It seemed to be softening. The squirrels were so crazy that it was hard not to smile. Yeji still felt so small, and so scared.
But then, something beautiful happened.
Ryujin took Yeji's hand in hers, and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"I got so angry, Yeji, I wanted to yell at you, and tell you what a monster I thought you were. But no matter how much I fought to let you go, I had to face it."
"What?"
"I love you, Yeji. She took both of Yeji' hands and looked into her eyes. "I'll never stop. I can't stop, even if I wanted. You came into my life and I felt... felt like I could fly."
Yeji took Ryujin's face in her hands, and gave her a deep kiss.
"So what now?" Yeji asked.
"I want to marry you."
"What!?! Marry me? Shouldn't we -"
"Wait? How much time have we spent together as part of the group? I know you better than my parents. What are we going to find out about each other that we don't already know?"
"Then, yes, I will be your wife."
They kissed again, and then made their way back to Ryujin's car, holding hands all the way. Yeji was so lightheaded that she was almost delirious. She didn't know that happiness came in such large doses.
A woman who fought so hard in secret for the safety of others had found her heart in danger. One brave woman took her hand and brought her home.
That night they slept in Yeji's room. They'd have to let the other girls know, but Yeji suspected that they had already figured everything out. Ryujin's head was resting on Yeji's chest as she slept. Suddenly, Yeji felt a wave of cold fear.
