Hollow River

52.

"River" Lando yelled after me, I was just about to leave the paddock, successfully avoiding him all day but unfortunately he found me.

"River!" He yelled again but this time a little louder. I still ignored him. "River for fuck sake" he grabbed my arm, so I turned around.

And there he was, the guy I desperately tried to avoid. "Why are you ignoring me?"

His question made me chuckle, but not the good kind. It wasn't a oh you're so funny kind of chuckle. It was more like a god you're pathetic kind of chuckle.

"Oh I'm sorry I probably couldn't hear you over all the lies you told me"

He took a quick step back. "Can we just talk about this?"

"Honestly Lando, I don't know what's left to talk about. You cheated and I don't know if I can ever forget that"

Maybe I could forgive him, but it would always be in the back of my mind. I don't know if I wanted a relationship like that.

"What would it take for you to love me again?" He asked a little more soft, more vulnerable.

I sighed. "I still love you Lando, that's exactly why it hurts so fucking much"

He looked down, he couldn't even look at me anymore. I wanted to believe it was just a mistake, I really did but why did he think I would go and cheat on him?

He cheated on me because he thought I was doing the same, which was a pretty shitty motive by itself but he just didn't trust me at all.

"I love you so much River, I've never been in love like this, never felt as comfortable as I am with you. I would do everything for you, just tell me what I need to do" he said as he grabbed my hands and looked me in my eyes.

My heart started beating faster. He was the only one who could get me weak like this.
I would forgive him in an instant just so I could kiss him again.

"Maybe not cheat on her mate" Max patted Lando's back. "That would be a pretty good start"

His interruption caused us to both take a step back.

"Let's go River" he gestured me to follow him. Normally I would tell him to go by himself, to not interrupt us, but I was actually happy he did.

I almost got lost in his damn eyes again.

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"You shouldn't let him manipulate you like that" Max groaned a little as we walked in his place together. He's been silent for the entire car ride.

"He's not manipulating me" I mumbled. I was also done talking about this. "He is and I completely understand but you deserve better"

"Or maybe I don't" I continued my mumbling as I laid down on the couch. "Stop it River, you deserve a guy who treats you right"

Max was probably getting annoyed by my self pity and I couldn't blame him because even I was getting annoyed by myself.

"Maybe Christian was right, maybe I should've gone for you instead of Lando" I chuckled, trying to light the mood.

Max sat down next to me, raising his eyebrow. "Did he tell you to go for me?"

"Well, yes I thought you knew that, I thought that's why you tried something that night"

That night when you told me we could be powerful together, when you told me I was mesmerizing, when you told me you could handle me exactly the way I am.

"No, I didn't know and I wouldn't do that because he asked me" he moved a little closer to me. "I did that because I wanted to, because I liked you"

"Liked? Past tense?" I asked softly. "Like. I still like you, I think I like you even more now"

Maybe it was stupid, maybe I was too heartbroken for this or maybe I wanted to get back at Lando but I couldn't think clearly.

I pressed my lips against his and I could feel he didn't expect that. It didn't take him long to kiss me back, to put more passion in the kiss.

"Then show me you can handle me exactly the way I am" I mumbled on his lips, he smiled and picked me up as if it was nothing.

I guess he was about to show me exactly that.