Vegas: Devil's Rose #9

Chapter 15: June Emerson

"Get fucked guitar," I scream as I slam it up against the concrete wall.

Bruce was right in his decision to get us to do this. Not only is it cathartic as fuck, I haven't laughed and smiled more in the past month than I have right now. I mean, I am having so much fun.

Of all the things for him to pick for our activity today, I didn't think it would be this, but I'm not going to complain. If anything, I couldn't be more grateful that this is what he chose. I think after such a chaotic week - which is fucking crazy to think about - I'm grateful to just let it all out.

There's only so much that thinking can do. Action makes me feel better. And afterward, as we head to lunch with me on the back of Bruce's motorcycle, I feel a sense of relief.

Rex can't hurt me anymore. He tried to sexually assault me. He scared me. He left me weak and in pain. He left me confused and devastated. But, he cannot touch me. His soul is fucking burning. I don't need to let him keep me from living my life the way I want.

Yes, what he did to me will always be part of the way that I am. I cannot forget nor can I forgive the decision that he made. However, my life will not be controlled by a fucked up dead man. I'm going to start moving forward.

He doesn't deserve to affect my life now. I don't have to worry anymore.

Bruce taps my knee at the red light, Morse code. He taps out the signals for "You okay?" not even looking back at me. He taught me Morse code during our sophomore year of college after getting a lesson from his dad who was in the Army. We used it a lot after that.

Not so much lately, but it became especially helpful at college parties when we wanted to talk to each other but didn't feel like screaming over the music or needed to be discrete. Right now, it's honestly just easier because we couldn't hear one another under the roar of his motorcycle engine.

I tap back "Yes but need to talk" because I think he deserves to know what's going through my mind. I have always been able to confide in him. We've been open with each other since the beginning of our relationship, and we have that communication because we care.

He already knows I'm ending it with Westin, and I want to tell him how I feel about Rex now. I should break up with Westin soon though before I make terrible and undoable decisions, like launching myself at Bruce while still dating another guy. I don't want to do that to either of them.

I blindly let Bruce take me wherever we're going, trusting him with my life. We head up slightly into the mountains, but it's not in the middle of nowhere. Suburban areas are spread over the landscape, multiples of the same house for miles.

We wind through the neighborhoods, and I watch kids run through their freshly cut yards. I've not always wanted to be a mom, but as I start falling in love with Westmoor and one particular person living there, I could see myself raising children.

Being a mom is hard fucking work, but with the right person, I think I could see myself loving it. I think the one thing that's stopped me the most is the whole pregnancy thing, but since adoption and surrogacy are options, I'm more open to the prospect.

He parks his motorcycle in a gravel lot with a few cars parked around us. I lift myself off the back, using his shoulders to stabilize myself. He steps in front of me and tilts my head up so he can undo my helmet. My hands naturally fall to his sides, the warmth of his body on my fingertips.

Once he's finished taking my helmet off, has his off, and is carrying them comfortably in his hand, he guides me (his free hand on my lower back) toward the entrance of wherever we are. The sign of the place is revealed, and I almost start to cry. It's a butterfly sanctuary.

Fuck, he knows me so goddamn well.

Butterflies are my favorite things on this planet. I love them so much. If reincarnation is real, I would love to come back as a butterfly. They don't live for long but they are absolutely beautiful for the time that they exist, and they make people so happy.

"Thank you, Bruce. I don't think I can honestly tell you what this means to me."

"Anything for you, ladybug."

"I think you chose the wrong nickname for me."

"No, I don't think so," he insists with a smirk on his face.

He lets me soak in the moment, not saying much to me unless it has something to do with the butterflies. I don't pay much attention to him though. I don't mean to ignore him, but I cannot focus on anything else but how fucking incredible the butterflies are.

He doesn't get mad or frustrated with me, instead, he just lets me take every moment that I need. After about thirty minutes of walking around, we finally find a spot for us to sit.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"I just want to thank you for all that you've done for me in the past few days. I truly feel like I'm starting to heal and make good decisions for myself. I couldn't have done that without you."

"You do know that I would do anything for you, right?"

"And not many would so I've got to thank you."

Bruce presses a kiss to the side of my head, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. Neither of us needs to fill up the silence between us, so we sit and stare at the butterflies flying past our heads.

After a few more minutes of sitting, we decide to walk around some more, my hand naturally holding onto the back of his shirt as we see more of the butterfly sanctuary.

I call out to him every time I see a butterfly, which is like every five seconds because of where we are, but I never hear or feel an ounce of annoyance coming from him. He acknowledges me each and every single time with a different adjective for how beautiful they are.

"This is random, but I just remembered this. You know how you wanted to throw a party at my house so that you could meet everyone?"

"Yeah, I remember, and I still want to do that."

"Well, actually, Bullet and Piper are having a get-together already. I'm curious if you would just rather do that instead of having another thing at my house. Either way is good. I'm fine with going to theirs and then throwing our own another day. I just don't know what you want to do."

"Oh, yeah, that's way easier than having to plan our own. When is theirs?"

"Tomorrow, sort of throughout the whole day, but we don't have to be there until the afternoon into the evening. It's Autumnal Equinox Day tomorrow, which is a Japanese traditional holiday, and Bullet and Piper invite everyone to their celebrations."

They are the fucking best. How are they all so fucking cute?

"Are you asking me to go with you?"

"I'm not sure I would go without you, ladybug."

He one hundred percent would. He's just trying to make me want to make out with him. And it's working; there's no doubt about that. I really should break up with Westin. We haven't talked in fucking days, and we didn't even meet up when we said we would. I honestly need to get on that. I think that's got to happen tonight.

"I'll definitely go. What's the vibe like?"

"What do you mean?" Bruce asks me with a tilt of his head.

"Is it very fall vibes? Pumpkins, changing colors of leaves? What should I wear?"

He scrunches his eyebrows together, confused about what I'm talking about.

He's different than many other men that I've met in my life. He listens, he's calm, he takes care of me without making me feel like a burden, and so many other things. Then, we are having this conversation, and I remember that he is just a man.

I know he's trying his best to understand where I'm going with this, and he has no idea what I'm talking about. I appreciate the effort though. I truly do.