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Ch. 27: Punching Sharks

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When I opened my eyes to cool morning light drifting through the curtains, I half thought that last night had been a dream. Then a smile touched my lips. It couldn't have been a dream because the heavy, tattooed arm draped over my hip was real.

And the raging erection pressed against my butt was definitely real.

The steady rhythm of Finn's breathing told me he was still asleep, and I resisted the urge to press back against him, in case I woke him up.

I wasn't sure how he'd feel about this when he did.

I knew how I felt – I was happy.

Lying in bed with Finn, his arm slung possessively over me, his hard body curled around mine, was the kind of quiet bliss that I hadn't thought we could find, and I had to savour every single second because I might not get it again. Finn had handled last night so well, better than I'd anticipated, but that might change this morning. He might regret what we'd done. He might freak out like I had in the pool.

That was okay because this wasn't about me.

It was about what was best for Finn.

Finn's breathing changed tempo as he woke up, and I felt him go very still behind me. I had no idea what he was thinking, and I didn't dare roll over to see his face in case he obviously regretted this.

"I can leave if you want me to," I whispered.

His arm moved from my hip to my waist and tightened, hugging me.

"Stay," he said, his voice husky with sleep.

I'd stay all day if he wanted me to.

"How do you feel?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," he admitted after a pause.

"Do you regret it?"

Finn's arm tightened again, pulling me harder against his morning wood. "No," he said. "Not for a second." Another pause. "Do you?"

I laughed. "Do I regret lying on a bed with you? Definitely not. I'm just surprised that we ended up here so soon. I thought it would take you longer to reach this stage."

"I did too," Finn said. He shifted his head closer to mine, until his breath ruffled my hair. "It's because of you. You make me feel so fucking comfortable."

Emotion stung my eyes but I couldn't speak.

Finn had been nothing but honest with me, but he also sounded surprised by his own words, and from that I could only conclude that he either hadn't examined how he felt about me, or that his feelings didn't match mine.

Although, now that I thought about it, I wasn't entirely sure that I'd fully examined how I felt about him either. Maybe I was scared to face the depth of my feelings.

So I said nothing.

It was safer to remain quiet than risk damaging what we were building.

***

"Are you ready for this?" Finn asked, standing with me at the shallow end of the pool.

I stared down into the clear water, the pattern of white and blue tiles on the floor, steeling myself.

Finn had faced his fear. It was time for me to face mine.

He went into the pool backwards, slowly descending each step, holding both my hands. Even though the water was shallow, the familiar panic flared as soon as I stepped in – mostly because I knew we were tackling something that scared the shit out of me today – but I firmly shoved it away.

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