Forgotten Love || Tom Kaulitz

Spiraling

I didn't even want to be awake so I couldn't be consumed by in my own thoughts.

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Toms POV

I woke up to soft cries beside me. I turned as I was faced with Ashley back and slowly moved closer to her.

"Ashley?" I whispered asking for permission.

She slightly nodded as I pulled her closer to me. I wrapped my arm around her shaking body as her cries became a little louder. I felt sick to my stomach for what those men did to her. I felt guilty for even letting in happen. I knew she would be okay, she was strong but from everything that's happened this week I don't know how much more she could take before she snaps.

Ashley's cries became softer as she rolled onto her back and stared at the celling. I moved my hand to her arms lightly rubbing it as tears rolled down her cheeks. I couldn't help but stare at her stomach.

Flashback

"I- I don't know wh- what to do" she sobbed. "I know you can't hear me, but the doctor told me something" she continued.

I tried my hardest to move, just an inch. But nothing. I couldn't let her leave. What was it he told her?

"I lost our baby. I mean I didn't know but it still hurts" she cried.

End of flashback

I couldn't help but slowly move my hand over her stomach. She turned to me slightly confused as her lips dropped. I looked away and moved my hand from her stomach. The thought that we would have had a kid if it wasn't for the accident scared me. I have never wanted to be a father and never will be. I wouldn't forgive myself for bringing up a kid around this sort of lifestyle, but it still hurt. The child would have been a year old or even older by now. I didn't care for the child I think I cared more about what Ashley had been through after hearing that news.

"Tom?" she said softly.

"Yeah" I looked up.

"You could hear me?" she asked. I knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Yeah" I said looking off to the side.

It was silent for a moment before she sighed.

"You know I didn't want to leave. I just thought it would be better" she said lightly.

"I know" I said low as I clenched my jaw.

I felt my body heat rise and quickly sat up. I began to walk towards the door before I looked back. Ashley looked at me confused as I turned back and slammed the door behind me. I walked closer to the kitchen taking deep breathes trying to control my anger.

Aubree's POV

I watched as Tom stomped out of Ashley's room and turned my head slightly. I furrowed my eyebrows, ever since Ashley told me about her past with him I couldn't bare to even look at him. And I didn't know why Ash bothered to talk to him or even look at him. I walked closer to her door knocking lightly.

"Ash" I said softly.

I heard her sniffle before she shouted, "Come in".
I opened the door and walked closer to the bed.

"What did he do?" I asked as I bit my cheek.

"He didn't do anything" she tried to reassure me.

I tilted my head to the left and raised my eyebrows as she nodded with a smile. I rolled my eyes and sat down beside her.

"Bill wanted me to ask you of your coming back to Tokyo with us" I smiled.

She looked away as her eyes scattered the room before she turned back to me.

"Just until I figure out stuff back at home" her voice slightly broke.

"Of course, as long as you need" I reassured her as I grabbed her hands.

I looked at her up and down and noticed a few bruises covering her torso and legs. I looked up at her clenching my jaw.

"It wasn't him" she sighed as she rolled her eyes.

"What happened then?" I asked not believing her.

"It happened last night at the club... but I don't want to talk about it" she said harsh as she ripped her hands from my grip.

"Okay" I said getting up from the bed. "The flights tomorrow morning okay?" I smiled looking back at her before I opened the door and walked out.

I made my way over to Tom with my arms crossed. As he gave a smug looked as his eyes scanned my body from top to bottom.

"What did you do to her?" I snapped.

He grabbed my arm and dragged me away from the kitchen and into the hallway. He pinned be between his chest and the wall as I rolled my eyes.

"Nothing" he sighed lightly grabbing my waist.

"Stop we said this wasn't happening anymore" I snapped as I pushed his chest.

"C'mon" he sighed.

"I'm married now, and I can't look at you the same. I knew you were fucked up but not to that extent. How can you even live with yourself?" I groaned pushing him away and beginning to walk off.

"I now know where you get your attitude from" he laughed as I walked away.

I groaned and swung my head back as I shuffled closer to my room. I swung open my door and was immediately grabbed by Bill. I giggled and looked up at him with a big smile.

"What did she say?" he smiled looking down at me.

"She said she will stay until she fixes stuff back in Rome" I said looking up into his eyes.

"I guess after losing Jai it would be hard" he said letting go of me. "We have a spare room she can use" he added.

"Yeah" I said softly as I joined him on the bed.

Ashley's POV

I looked behind me as I let the smoke fill my lungs. Tom walked in and sat beside me as I exhaled the smoke. I watched the waves crash in the distance as I felt his eyes on me.

"I don't know what to do" I said softly before taking another hit.

"What do you mean?" he asked low.

"I have nothing back in Rome. Everything I built is gone" I said low biting my bottom lip.

"You can run things by yourself can't you? I know you can" he said lightly nudging my shoulder.

"Everyone's done. They're refusing to-" I started before I laughed. "I tried so hard, but it's all gone. Everything I fought for was all for nothing" I added exhaling more smoke.

"I guess it was" he said laughed. I looked at him anger filling up inside of me. Why did he have to say that?

I turned away from him looking back at the beach before taking the last drag and standing up. I blew the smoke out as I stepped on the cigarette. I walked back inside and made my way to the kitchen. I grabbed a glass from the cabinet and grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the counter. I filled up the glass to about halfway before taking the glass back outside. 

I sat down on the steps slowly drinking from the glass. Letting myself spiral in my own thoughts.

...

"C'mon let's get you to bed now" Tom said from the door.

"Okay" I slurred as I stood up.

I knocked the glass and the empty bottle and listened as it rolled down the stairs before smashing. I stumbled back inside and fell into bed. I rolled over and faced the wall as everything became dark.

...

I followed behind Bree as we stepped onto the plane. I dropped my bag onto the floor before sitting in my seat and looking out of the window beside me. This was all a mistake, and I knew it. I leaned forward and looked to the other side of the plane at Tom before he slowly turned his head towards me. I slowly leaned back and shook my head lightly. What was I about to get myself into.