Author Games: Brave New World

Finals: Demetrius Vittore

Existence is faded.

Demetrius was scheduled to return home, to our real home. To Earth.

I wasn't.

Existence is faded and shoddy.

My tufted skin was hardened and crusty in several places. Even the hand of Demetrius made the brown feel torrid, arid like a desert palm. He looked at me like I was too far gone to recover; maybe it was true. For my arms were halfway torn off- one of my eyes became a commodity to the land, buried beneath the surface we walked. And both ears had a piece missing. It was obvious where I was going.

Nowhere.

Existence is faded and cruel.

I sat by the lake. Its water had lessened since the first days of colonization, and the tide rolled in weakly, almost afraid to dampen the sand. I could not decipher the color between blue and green, but it was muddy, obscure, and waved with the mirrors of disgust. I smiled at it, smelling the way it putrefied the air.

I wanted to be left behind. Demetrius was sitting next to me, hand clutching mine, apparent anticipation altering the flow of his blood. Making it quicker, more dangerous. He hadn't spoken since the forest, and he never would, for being mute was the best way to avoid despair.

He wouldn't shout or yell, cry or wail, or even whistle when times get bad. Demetrius stopped whispering, stopped talking, stopped whatever it was that made him speak. He was less curious, now; he was less burdened. Because, like any other echo, screams are just a burden of recollection. Of remembering.

I was sorrowful when I realized he was going, but I wanted to be left behind.

Existence is faded and lucid.

His finger massaged into my stubbed arm. It was rough and calloused and I willed him away, but he stayed. His pale face was defiled by chapped lips, musty skin, and I knew what crazed his thoughts.

Me.

Because, as he looked at me, as he remained with me, he was hurt. I caused him to remember the pain and the suffering. I was a remnant of the death and sadness on Danu; a leftover piece of a puzzle he never wanted to solve. Demetrius was going to leave me behind because I was tainted, like a scratch mark on a beautiful emblem. We'd gone through so much...he had heard the ending call, with its whisperous taunts and motionless beckon. I desired to hear and see them as well, but I was thrown into darkness, where the light of day is aged, near-dead. I wanted to be like that.

The hovering ship was in the process of landing. Sounds of colliding winds were rushed about, reminiscent of a tornado. However, it was bitterly cold, so the world seemed closer to a blizzard than anything else. Soon, white would form and drizzle from the atmosphere, where clouds bounced together in an endless tirade. Of course, it was Danu, so the weather was more hostile and felt more deranged; I missed snow. Demetrius missed it too; I could tell; he missed everything about home.

The hovering ship was in the process of landing.

When it landed, Demetrius would leave.

Why was I willing it to move faster?

Existence is faded and cold.

When it did land, he waited to go. The hesitation was the result of several reasons, not just me, and he shook and quivered with one fact: his life would never be the same. Demetrius Vittore was no longer the same young man, now older and wiser and more prone to pain. Like his skin was paper and life transformed into the tip of a bladed pen, or as if he was the retributionist in a crime of murderous; or, even, just a young boy, with the world's dreariness one step ahead. Demetrius hesitated, but his decision did not change.

He left.

I was neither hollow nor whole when I saw his body for the last time. Diminishing and disappearing into the entrance of the craft, Demetrius didn't even turn to bid me farewell. I expected that to hurt; it did not. Then, they and he and it rose and left the orbit; then, Earth found its lost friends again.

I stayed by the water's edge, listening with silence as tiny wavelets struck the surface with metaphorical grace. And the sky was light, tanning my dragged fur into something light, but then night would come and I'd land in darkness once more. I rarely saw another living thing; if I did, they did not see me. I was wet and then dry, happy and then sad, damp and then arid, elated and then depressed; cycles and cycles of my time on Danu. If it was ever said the colonization failed- that life could not be sustained on a foreign planet- they lied. Demetrius lied.

I am here.

I am still here.

Please, come get me.

Please, don't come near.

Existence is nonexistent.

~

Existence was never existent.

It was a grim day of the week when Demetrius Vittore stepped into his home, the spark of adventure settling and shutting off behind him. He'd never decipher if he regretted going or leaving, despising Danu for its turmoil, but appreciating the way it changed him. None of his belongings had the survived the trip. Closing the mottled door with a discontented slam, he let the room seep back into his brain, his reticent memory.

A kitchen, rarely messy, and a bedroom of novels and childhood tokens. Two bathrooms, but one went unused while the other smelled of bleach. His garage was nearly empty; he did not own enough to fill the room with meaninglessness. Even the floors made him swell with an indescribable feeling. And the couch. where he had said hostile and bold goodbyes to his family. The glass windows...

On a ledge, peacefully, sat his bear.

"I'm home," Demetrius said to the stuffed thing, "Did you miss me?" The question was molded by a choking cry; he stared at the bear like it had the capability to respond. And, of course, it did not. It was not alive; it had no soul.

Existence has never been existent.

Existence is a toy.

Just like me.