I'll Love You at Your Darkest Moments. (Austin Mahone Fan Fiction)

chapter 27 - thoughts

We pushed through the crowd. I just closed my eyes and followed where Austin pulled me. When we got into the building Austin and I rushed into a room where the radio host was. I had decided to sit out but they still talked about our relationship.

We got home and Austin fell onto the couch.

"How did I do?" He asked.

"You're really good at talking to people."

"Practice."

"Well you did great."

He smiled and pressed his lips to mine.

"I love you" he said with a slight smirk.

"I love you too."

Austin was tired so we went into the bedroom and watched tv. Austin had fallen asleep in a short time. I walked out onto the balcony. I couldn't help but think about my life in New York. Before all the drama with my ex. I had no problems. When my dad died, I really thought there was no hope for me. Craig just made that ten times harder. I mean I was used to the pain but my father would have never laid a hand on us. My brothers used to always get in trouble because they would try and stop Craig. What made it worse was that my mom didn't care. My wrists started to ache. My eyes fell to the faded scars. I knew Austin blamed himself when I cut. I thought I was getting better, but the more you tell yourself (and others) you're getting better, the sadness never leaves. The pain and anger never leaves.

My thoughts were interupted by the door opening.

"Hey babe." He said walking outside.

"Hi." I said with sad tone.

"What's wrong?" he said sitting next to me.

"Just.. I was just thinking."

"About..?"

"Life."

He pulled my hands so I was sitting in his chair with him.

"Kel, I know things are rough sometimes but you have to know that you don't need to beat yourself up for the past." He said hugging me tightly.

"It's easy to beat myself up when I'm the problem."

"You're not the problem that's the thing."

"It would be a whole lot easier for people if I wasn't here."

"It wouldn't be easy for me." he said softly.

I turned my head and looked at him. He had tears welling in his eyes. I started to sob.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." he stuttered.

"No. It's just... I've never had anyone care about me so much.."