Of Monsters and Humanity: The Genesis

Chapter 27 - Xander

Forty-eight days before....

I'm pretty sure I did make her cry.

Maybe she just went home and did it, but it didn't seem like she just left feeling fine and dandy, and that was good for me. But what was even better was that she didn't kill herself, that would have gotten me into more trouble.

But, like I was thinking before, I'm pretty sure that if I even attempted to get to her feelings, she wouldn't let me.

Today helped prove that.

She heard me when I said that the guns couldn't kill me even though I wish they did. And she changed. She came into the Observation Room with her head held high as if doing it in spite of what I said about her the other day, and then her entire demeanor changed, like a switch.

Do you think she knows?

Could she already see that there was something wrong with me?

I mean, obviously, I'm not human, but I'm also not sane. And that's the problem: I didn't want to go crazy. I felt it, and the night they let Isabelle in the Pit proved to me and everyone else that there was something seriously wrong with me.

Of course I wanted to be wrong.

I wanted to be able to deny it but I couldn't just say hey, no, I'm good. I just tore my face off but I'm all good.

At this point, I don't want to talk to Terra anymore. It doesn't seem like it will be fun anymore, messing with her. She doesn't seem like she's going to cry or get upset or spill her guts.

I wanted her gone.

My original plan was to wipe that human, holier-than-thou look off her face for good, and I almost succeeded, but something within her switched and the look found its way back onto her face.

I hated seeing it, and I wanted to escape it, but there was nowhere for me to go, nowhere for me to hide. The government would find me. Or my family would first. I'm not sure which fate is worse.