15. Irony

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"Has no one told you she's not breathing?" — "Hello", Evanescence ^^ (I just thought that this song and quote would be really appropriate for this chapter. :))

Never in my life would I have dreamt that I'd end up in this current situation.

This morning, I woke up in a hospital; in the UWI* Hospital. On Tony Thwaites*. Because David was sweet enough to buy me a private room. My entire body felt like shit, and to my horror, I had a catheter, so I had no control over my piss; it was just running out.

I felt myself under the sheet, and realised that I had some kind of padding over my left, lower body, and it would hurt when I touch it. I started to get worried, but that issue was quickly forgotten when I touched a tube, which I realised was running into my urethra. Naturally, I just started acting like a complete butu.*

"NURSE! GET DIS BOMBOCLAAT TUBE OUT A MI—"

A middle aged nurse rushed into the room. She had big eyes, dark-skin, natural hair, and a serious scowl on her face.

"You cannot be acting like a that on the ward, miss," she hisses at me.

"Get this fucking thing out of me; I don't want to be pissing into a bag." I said to her as calmly as I possibly could; it probably wasn't her fault.

Her look changes from one of disdain to one of pity.

"I can't."

She can't? She can't?

"Why? Get it—"

"Miss, you recently had surgery, and cannot get up to use a bathroom; you need a catheter."

Surgery? For what? Side pain is hardly a reason for surgery.

"Surgery? For what?"

She looked very uncomfortable all of a sudden, as if she had said too much.

"Tell me what's going on," I demanded.

"I should call your doc—"

"No. Tell. Me. What. The fuck. Happened. To me. I'm not waiting half an hour for the doctor to come."

She gulped.

"It won't take—"

"Tell me!" I demand.

"Your tube ruptured," she said, softly, as if she didn't want me to hear it.

What?

Then, I remember the padding under the sheet. But, how?

"How the fuck did my tube rupture?"

She looked like she was about to say some dumb shit again, like "I should get your doctor", but she looked into my eyes and thought better of it.

"You, had an ectopic pregnancy."

Ectopic pregnancy.

Ectopic pregnancy.

How fuckíng ironic.

That conversation was five hours ago, but I can still hear it in my head as if it's happening right now.

Briefly, I recall Dr. Hamilton telling me months ago that one of the possible side effects of Mirena is an ectopic pregnancy.

He'd listed the side effects:

Ovarian cysts.

Acne.

Nausea.

Weight gain.

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