Efferent

Chapter 8

We continued our trek in complete silence, and I stared at the ground as we passed through the brambles. "Clark, I do not... I can not explain it..." I felt as though my skin would be etched by the strain of holding back tears. My breath caught around the words in my throat, and all I could mange to comfort myself with was a singular thought over and over again: At least I did not kill him. At least I did not kill him, this time.

"I know," he stated after my trailing end has melted off and spread itself across the silence in a steady stream. "You- you just lost control of your power, you had no idea what was truly in store and after being vulnerable and exposed for an extended period of time, it is understandable that a reaction of that magnitude would rear its ugly head."

"On camera," I cringed, scrubbing my cheek with my shirt's sleeve.. "If the public did not think we were monsters before this, then they certainly do now." I felt disgusted with myself, and the fact that the cameras recorded my lack of control felt ten times worse.

He nodded slowly, avoiding my gaze as he thought. "Most likely they will send more enforcements to follow our trail." He fell silent and only our rustling could be heard.

"What is wrong, Clark? I said I was sorry." I muttered, voice raw, scuffing my shoe across the ground in an 'X'. "Are you feeling alright? Do you need a break?"

"I-I am fine." He furrowed his brow, pinching it between his thumb and forefinger, "Actually, no, I am not." He paused in his steps and turned on his heel to look back at me, his momentum carrying him forward a step.

He opened his mouth, and then closed it, as if the air was blocking his words, or muting them as they came out. I stood on the edges of my feet and waited patiently for his response. "Clark? What is wrong?"

"You do not trust me." He shook his head and looked away, "After everything we have been through, after everything I have done for you, you still do not trust me, Ardyn, and it has become evident that that is no longer working for you."

"W-what do you mean?" I stepped back. "I am fine. I trust you when I have to."

"How could you ever stand to live like that?" He scoffed incredulously. "You are paranoid, and anxious, and those emotions only serve to help the people trying to put us in a glass box."

"Clark-," I trailed off, not knowing what to say and yet the hurt in his voice was evident.

"Ardyn, you need to trust me. You need someone who can be there for who, someone whose judgment you can defer to when your own fails." Clark shook his head, his matted, blonde locks falling into his eyes. "Earlier I tried to help you. You disregarded that statement because you thought that you could do it on your own."

"I could!" I protested, "I just slipped a bit."

"Your slip rendered a fully grown man unconscious and woke a beast inside of you," Clark continued. "I can help, I want to help, and I have said this from the moment we met. Ardyn, you need to trust me, if only just for now."

I looked up at the passing sun, and the dappled light filtering through the tree tops. "We need to keep moving Clark," I whispered.

"I will not move another step." He clenched out. "We will go our separate ways if we can not agree, because otherwise you become a liability."

"Liability?" I scoffed and glared at him. "Who dragged your unconscious behind under a rock so that we wouldn't be found? Who stayed up the majority of the night in case we needed to move again?"

"I never asked you to stay. You did that of your own freewill." His gaze was unwavering, "Who put me in the position to abuse my powers in that way to begin with? Who painted an even larger target on my back by conking a cameraman broadcasting to the public?"

I growled lowly, pacing in circles. "Fine!" I threw my hands up. "It was my fault, okay? And I felt bad, so I stayed!"

"Face it, Ardyn, you need me." Clark was clenching and unclenching his fists. "And, more importantly, you need to trust me."

Weakly, I let my hands hit the side of my legs with a soft clap. I shook my head, and the emotion of the moment threatened to drown me. I felt my eyes well, and my face tighten as I strained to remain unfazed. "How?" I started, "How do I trust someone I just met?"

"You make a decision," Clark ran his hand through his hair wearily and sighed. "And then we make a pact."

"A pact?" I furrowed my brows in confusion. "What, like a contract?"

"Yeah. We agree," He trailed off, staring at the passing sun, "We agree that until we reach sanctuary or we deem that we are safe, we will stay together, and ensure everything within our power to keep the other-."

"-Alive." I finished for him, interrupting. "What is to keep you from breaking your promise? Or I mine for that matter?" I sighed, and began walking once more, Clark trailing behind. "It is just your word against mine, after all."

"No, you are wrong about that," Clark interjected. "It is much more than that. Because, whether you wish to believe it or not, you are all that I have left. And I? I am your best chance at surviving."

"So we exchange our lives as collateral?" I questioned, raising a brow.

"What could be more valuable than that?"

We fell silent once more, and each step felt as though it were a bullet point down the long list of reasons why I shouldn't agree, why I should flee while I still could. Then his footsteps following behind me would echo a contradiction to each point. I should stay, I should wait, I should follow him to safety because it was my best shot at surviving.

I looked up from my clasped hands in front of me to his infuriatingly compassionate expression. "You do not have to do this on your own," Clark said gently. He struck out his hand, his fingers spread and his palm wide. "Please, Ardyn. Just say yes."

I sighed, my resolve wavering, like the cracking of grass before it fragmented over pavement. "Okay," I whispered. "For now, just for now, I will trust you."