Chapter 44 - A mental preparation

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The school bell rang to announce the start of the first break when Tamiko leaned back in her chair. A huff escaped her and she stared at the plain ceiling with a frown. After the last 10 minutes of a lecturing homeroom teacher it was a relief to hear the bell.

Choose your future wisely, he had told them.

As if this decision was set in stone. Tamiko knew very well how the world worked. In a perfect society the kids graduate, choose a college and work their chosen job for the rest of their lives. What a lie. There were many opportunities to change profession after having had a job for years. People in sports were the perfect example. Play in a team until you're in your 40s and then coach the future generation in said sport. It wasn't rocket science. It wasn't set in stone. Just one of the useless gibberish teachers were passing onto the students. And many believed them. But she was sure that Ushijima behind her wasn't foolish enough to believe that he could participate in his job as a national player for the rest of his life. He had his dad as a perfect example. Tamiko stood in the middle of thinking to head to the toilet when she heard thunderous trampling approach in the corridor.

"Tamiko," someone screeched and all of a sudden arms wrapped around her. "You are so mean, leaving out the details. You have to tell me everything."

"Izumi," Tamiko gasped. "I can't breathe."

The said girl let her go immediately but grabbed her hand instead. Stating that it would be best to speak in private, she pulled her out of the school building to one of the grass patches. Hardly anyone spend their time there so it was a safe place to discuss secrecies. Huddled in their coats and scarves they stood there.

"Spit it out," Izumi demanded. "I want all the juicy details."

"You want me to describe it?" Tamiko raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms.

"Only the situation," she elaborated.

While the sun was trying to warm up the winter air, Tamiko told Izumi about all she wanted to know. It was a little embarrassing but Izumi just listened.

"So he was afraid to lose you?" Izumi repeated to make sure she got the details right. "That's a good sign."

Her friend didn't answer. Instead Tamiko smiled towards the sun, basking in its warmth. Spring was coming, she could feel it. It was still cold but the trees were already sprinkled with buds. And the last entrance exams were over soon. Coach Washijo had already spoken with the principle about letting her stay as manager for a decent pay. The only condition was that she would attend a college during that time. Tomorrow was her entrance exam for the best college in the area. Learning more about psychology would hopefully boost her chances for the future. Izumi was also staying in Sendai.

"I'm going to go to art school. I really want to be a manga artist." she had told her excitedly.

Tamiko was glad that her friend was on the right track to reach her goal although she herself was even further away from it than before. Maybe she was a good manager but that wasn't what she wanted to be. But it was the only thing she could do with Tobio still at home even if he had become more independent than before. But what was still a hurdle to overcome was the visit of her mothers and that day came closer and closer.

"Let's go back," Izumi suggested after she had gazed at her watch.

Both returned to the school building and her glance briefly met Ushijima's olive orbs. It was a little difficult not to interact with him in class without others noticing their relationship. But it was going well so far. Ushijima had enough self control and Tamiko was talented in ignoring people. She had done that to Oikawa after all. A challenge, since he had always looked for her attention. Even at training they kept their distance not to arouse suspicion.

The rest of the day went by slowly with the teachers monologuing about how to achieve success in the future. Tamiko went home, after her work with the team was done, with a heavy heart. Knowing that she had to stay strong the next week made her anxious. At home she did all she could to clean up. She always kept things tidy so there wasn't much to do. Since her exam was tomorrow she decided to look over her notes once more and answer a few.mock questions that would come up. With pen and paper she went to work when the doorbell rang.

"Oh, hello Toshi-kun," she gleamed when she opened the door.

"Am I intruding?" he asked politely.

"Oh no, come in," she urged. "I'm just surprised that you're so early."

"The coach wanted us to rest," he explained.

Tamiko nodded when she closed the door and watched him hang up his coat. His nose and cheeks were a little reddened from the cold air outside. It looked adorable in her eyes.

"I'm studying a bit more for my exam tomorrow," she told him.

He nodded and followed her. It was a strange feeling to invite a guy into her room for the first time but there was no ulterior motive. Ushijima noticed one thing after he had looked around her room for a good while. Her room was black and white, something he could comprehend now since she was colour blind. But then there were her bookshelves. There were tons of books neatly stacked between the brown wood, some even placed before the rows because they hadn't found their place yet. The books were partially books of knowledge and books of entertainment which the titles suggested. 'The mythology of the Norse gods', 'Percy Jackson and the lightning thief'. Ushijima's​ eyes lingered on the bookshelves, which didn't go unnoticed.

"I see you have found my collection." Tamiko said with a proud smile.

He turned to look at her curiously, then back at the books.

"You have an interest in mythology?" he asked as he scanned the many book titles again.

There was a wide range of mythology books, from the Japanese gods to the Mayans, Romans and all sorts. He had paid enough attention in history classes that he had a rough idea what they were about. At least the Roman gods had a very complicated and complex family tree.

"Interesting," Ushijima mumbled. "I never thought that a bright mind like you would be interested in such a thing."

Curious eyes watched him as he picked out a book. He eyed the cover of the book and then gazed at Tamiko, who smirked.


"Do you hate me now?" she asked playfully as she walked next to him.

"No, not at all." he said and smiled down at her. "I find it very intriguing."

Her lips mirrored his smile and she offered him the book to pass the time. While she kept studying and humming to herself, Ushijima had started reading. He kept quiet occasionally looking up to her back. It dawned him once again how small she was compared to him. Although he saw her back in school every time, the uniform made her shoulders look broader than they actually were. She really had a small stature but that only made her more adorable.

An hour passed with Tamiko studying g and Ushijima reading when the front door opened and Tobio came home. His sister immediately prepared a dinner for three while the boys exchanged a few words about training. The only topic they had in common. Yet they didn't hesitate to help her in the kitchen. At least they set the table.

"Mother will come home this Saturday," Tamiko reminded herself out loud as they ate. "It's going to be hell."

Tobio and Ushijima took note of her emotionless expression. As soon as she had time to think this was the thing that continued to haunt her. Half-heartedly she poked her food on her plate. Tobio chewed while he watched her. It wasn't news to him that she was struggling with him and her own life. The fact that mother seemed to pamper him and expect success from his sister was something he was also aware of. But he had never cared for his mother. Maybe there had been a time where he would enjoyed the presence of his mother but she was not here anymore. Tamiko was struggling with the reality of her return and he saw it.

"It will be fine, Nee-san," Tobio objected. "She is my mother as well."

Tamiko gaped at her brother but then a smile grew on her face. Even Ushijima smiled at her. In the silence of the kitchen she wiped a tear away and continued to eat with a lighter heart. It was simple but still, this was a little encouraging and that uncomfortable reunion was still three days away.

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