Vanish (ONC Finalist)

11. Ronin

Lady Liviana stood gazing out her chamber window, idly watching the clouds scud over the valley. Standing in the corner niche carved out of stone, her elbows on the cold sill, this was her favourite place in all the castle; a vantage point where she could be alone and think, open the shutters and feel the breeze on her face. Standing here, she was aware of the town below full of people going about their daily business, but here, she was separate for a moment, not precisely free of her responsibilities but able to put them aside for a few minutes. Relish the solitude.

In five days she would wed Lord Dale'l'Xandro and everything would change. He would move in, and her chamber would no longer be a haven of retreat, but a bedroom she shared with her husband. A room for procreating. Her hand rested briefly on her stomach. Maybe they had already started. Her course was late, perhaps she had already conceived on that ill-fated night. Or perhaps not, her courses were often irregular. Liviana stared resolutely out the window. She honestly didn't know how she felt—whether a baby now would be a blessing or a curse.

A soft tap at the door broke into her thoughts.

"Milady?"

"Enter," she called, gathering herself together.

A maidservant opened the door and came in, looking a little flushed in the face. "My Lady? Lord Ronin was wondering whether you would grant him the honour of a few words. He is waiting downstairs in the small parlour."

"Of course," Liviana replied, plastering a polite smile on her face.

She followed the girl downstairs, wondering what Lord Ronin wanted to discuss with her. She had not seen him to talk to in private since her announcement about her betrothal to Dax. She'd called all her prospective suitors together to give them the news first in person before making a public announcement, but as soon as they saw Dax smiling at her side they knew what her decision had been.

Liviana remembered she had wanted to tell them by herself, but Dax had insisted on being present. "It will be easier, if I'm there," he'd said. "No-one will bother you with importunate protests." Liviana gave in and Dax was right. Although no-one was happy, everyone offered their congratulations, at least polite if not sincere.

Liviana entered the small parlour to find Lord Ronin standing there in front of the window with his hands behind his back. He was a tall man, tall and thin, with harsh features that too often looked stern and judgemental. He swung to face her, his face set and serious.

"Lady Liviana, thank you for seeing me. Can we speak privately?" he added, glancing at the maidservant who was hovering in the doorway.

"Of course, my Lord," answered Liviana, her curiosity peaked. She sent the disapproving maid on her way and closed the door.

She was about to suggest they both sit down when Ronin took a step forward. For one astonished moment she thought he was about to take hold of her but he stopped short at the last second, letting his hands fall restlessly to his sides. His face worked.

"Forgive me, Liviana, but are you quite certain about this marriage?"

"My lord?"

"I'm sorry, I wasn't going to say anything, but I'd never forgive myself if I didn't... and today I just had to see you. I realise the wedding is almost upon us, but you're not married yet!" He rushed on before she could interrupt. "Forgive me," he repeated, "I didn't mean to cause you any distress. I just wanted to reassure myself that you are happy. Are you certain that Lord Xandro is the right man for you? It's occurred to me recently that you might be having... doubts."

What was he saying? Surely he must know—everyone knew—she had spent the night before the betrothal announcement with Dax. She had no choice but to proceed with the wedding.

Her own face now a bright red, Liviana murmured, "Please say no more, my Lord. I thank you for your concern, but there are reasons... I assure you... I am quite content."

"It's not too late to change your mind. I know I haven't been the most ardent of suitors. I'm not good at expressing my feelings, but I want you to know I have... I have the utmost admiration for you." Ronin looked earnestly into her startled face, flushing as she drew back in alarm.

"If you are worried about..." He stopped and started again, choosing his words with utmost care. "I can promise you that I would not concern myself with... with anything that had happened in the past. If you felt you could entrust yourself to me, we would look forward and not back—"

Liviana held up a protesting hand, her other going unconsciously to cradle her stomach. "Say no more, my Lord. I am promised to Lord Xandro. What you ask is impossible!"

She saw the colour suddenly drain out of Ronin's face as he noticed what she was doing. Instantly, she brought her wayward hand up and clasped both hands before her. Her eyes held his.

"I assure you, milord, I am quite content," she repeated, firmly, raising her chin.

"I'll take my leave, then," said Ronin stiffly. "Unfortunately, urgent matters at home will prevent me from staying for the wedding. I wish you and Lord Xandro well." He turned on his heel and strode out of the room, clenching his jaw to prevent saying anything else that he might regret.

Liviana stared after him in mingled astonishment and rising fury. How dare he speak to her like that! And, more importantly, why in Thera's name had Ronin not shown her any of that passion before?

She closed her eyes. And, why, oh why, had he waited until today, when it was far, far too late?