Alina's pov:
I woke up on the cold floor, it hurt where ever the cold breeze hit my body, I went to bathroom washed my face, looked at my reflection.
The girl standing in front of me, her skin was paler than before, her eyes were dry, no emotions whatsoever, her long wavy dirty blond hairs was messy, her cheeks were swollen and even her eyes were swollen and red due to crying out her heart in every prayer.
A lone tear slipped down my eyes, looking at my condition. It made me cry, it made me sick. I stared at myself then I look away in disgust.
What you have done to yourself.
I looked again to my reflection. I started hitting the mirror with my fist.
"I hate you... I hate you..." I hitted it several times, I heard a crack, my knuckles begin to hurt more, with every hit the pain grows.
I peeked back at my reflection in broken mirror, which had a crack in center. I was panting, tears streaming down my face. Blood drops make regular sound when it fell down on floor.
I leaned back to the wall, I sat down hugged my knees. I sobbed and only sobbed, I had mix emotions, I didn't even know what I am thinking right now, or what I did or why I did
You deserve this...
You deserve all the pain....
You killed your parents....
I shook my head at my own thought.
Because of you they are dead....
It's only because of you.....
"No!!!....No!!!...." I yelled.
"I didn't want this life.... I didn't want them to die..... I loved them.... I still love them." I stuttered between my sobs.
Then who did this to you
Who did it to you.
Your fate, why it is so twisted.
Why are all alone.
Your Allah loves you right?
Then why give you pain.
Then why make your life... like this...
Why give you loneliness.
"I don't know... I don't know...." I held my head in my hands. Tears streaming down making their way from my cheeks and spreading on the white floor, mixing with the drops of blood.
Why... why.... why did he take your parents...
Why did he make you suffer...
He only gave you pain since the first day of your birth
"No" I screamed "no... He loves me. He always had loved me... it is only a test... only a test..." I lessen my voice with every phrase.
The voice of Adan came to my ears.I lifted my head. I ran out and listened to it and respond to it. I was going to do wudu
Don't offer it... He doesn't love you anymore..
"No!" I said to myself "it's my test... and my Allah (SWT) is calling for me... and I will answer. I will."
I offered my fajar prayer. I lifted my hands "Ya Allah help me, protect me and guide me. Guide me to the way which leads to you. Guide me before I go astray. Please... Ya Allah. Those things which I thought. uh.... It was not me. I could never think like that. Never... It was the satan... not me... I am sorry... It will never happen ever again."
DU LIEST GERADE
Wanted to be loved (Islamic Story)
Spirituelles"You will do it. You have to teach me. I will make you do it." He took a step toward me. I didn't stepped back, expressing that I was not afraid, ready for anything. "I will inform the Principal that you have caused another plight. And he will blind...
