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"Love doesn't need a reason why." <Park Jimin>
••• (edited because I don't like how I wrote some part of the chapter? But still it's only a minor editing)
Restless.
Eyes on the ceiling. He's barely blinked his eyes. He'd yawned for countless time but still his eyes refused to close eventhough he'd tried harder to get sleep.
It's a long night for Namjoon though. He'd lost in his deep thought for the whole night, thinking of all aspects for his decision in life. The good and the bad. Namjoon almost didn't sleep at all that night. Taehyung's words keep on bouncing in his head, non-stop.
Shall he try to chase his own happiness? Grabs all the opportunities served in front of his eyes? Does he has the right to be happy? After all the sins committed?
For five years he had put the barricade around him, sealed his heart - afraid of new love. He always run whenever there is someone came to approach him or someone indicates that they want more than a friendship. Namjoon never ready for a new life nor love. He loves Jimin. He kept telling himself that. It'd became the chant of his life for five years. No one can ever took Jimin's place in his heart. No one. He thought so.
"I don't asked you to forget him, hyung. Just give some space for someone to share the love you had for Jimin. Don't you think this is the right time for you to start anew?"
Taehyung words keep replayed on each second. Is it true? Is this the right time to let go of the past? Should I consider Jim Park's feeling? What about Baekhyun? He had been pursuing me more than a year. He deserved a chance too, right? But I can't choose both! This is really confusing!
Namjoon moved to the left of his bed, restless. He faced the nightstand, letting the lamp to shower the yellow light direct to his face. Namjoon didn't care how bright it was right now, gave a feels of irritation to his bare eyes. He wanted to see everything very clear before deciding with the help of the light. Rethorically.
"Between the two, who had makes your heart beats harder, hyung?"
Namjoon touched his chest and shut his eyes for a second. Trying to find a definate answer to Taehyung's question. Trying to find the absolute figure that will appear like a magic through his closed eyes. Dramatically. But he's willing to try as long as he can find the answer.
Baekhyun. The tall and slim figure with a masculine personality. Namjoon likes how Baekhyun always care for him. How Baekhyun always there for him. Baekhyun is a good guy, way too good for him. He's like an angel, send by the God to protect him. Namjoon always feels indebted with all his helps. Sometimes Namjoon feels guilty that he never reciprocate the elder's feeling when he had done everything for Namjoon. Deep down inside his heart, he knows Baekhyun will makes him happy. He believes that Baekhyun will never let him down.
