To You I Pledge (BBC Merlin)

Chapter 4 - Caged and Bound

Arthur made it his business to visit Merlin every morning and every evening, very careful to make sure that these visits did not interfere with his duties. Gaius was usually there when he arrived, but would leave to allow him to sit with Merlin alone. Not once in the three days since the feast had Merlin so much as twitched while he sat in the chair beside the bed and talked.

"I have resisted my father's attempts to give me a new manservant," Arthur said, staring past Merlin's passive features at the far wall. "I think it would be too much of a shock to my system to have an orderly room again."

Why he was talking to Merlin when it was obvious Merlin was so unconscious that he was barely breathing, let alone able to hear anything, Arthur had no idea, but sitting there in silence seemed so wrong. He really wanted to hear Merlin's inane chatter coming back at him, but so far there were no signs of consciousness at all.

"And my horse doesn't know how to react to being so beautifully brushed every day," he continued to talk. "I am sure he almost died of shock this morning. Of course I know you've been slipping him treats because he refused to let me mount until I produced three carrots today. You really are such a pushover."

It was strange what he was learning about Merlin just because Merlin wasn't there. How much Merlin was a part of his life was becoming more and more obvious; even when Merlin was away from him doing something else there had always been the knowledge that Merlin would be back shortly or in an hour or so. He kept finding himself making mental notes to ask Merlin to do something or to tell Merlin something and then remembering that Merlin was not going to be in his room, tidying it badly, when he finished training with his knights.

"And let me tell you I do not appreciate having to wait for the servants to fill my bath," Arthur prattled on with the first thing that came into his head. "How long have you been keeping the water hot with magic? I have discovered I do not like tepid bath water in the slightest. The sooner we get you out of here and back on the job the better, because I am very displeased."

He knew Merlin would have had a comeback about him being a royal prat or some such thing for that, and his chest tightened when all there was, was silence. It hurt to see Merlin imprisoned and cowed; his heart ached with it, but he could not let himself dwell on it too deeply. That his father had not yet changed his mind and ordered Merlin's death was one thing that made the wait bearable. The longer it went on, the less likely the king was to demand that Merlin pay the price of being a sorcerer the moment he woke up. Arthur still had no idea what he was going to do when Merlin did wake up, but he knew he could not let this end with an execution.

"All this loafing around had better be about getting better," Arthur continued to talk to fill the silence, "because if you're just wallowing I might have to teach you a lesson myself. We can't all lay around forever and a little wound like the one in your shoulder is no excuse for laziness. I was up and around far quicker than you and according to everyone, I was dying."

He felt so empty inside and he didn't like it. Finally he turned and looked at Merlin's relaxed, slightly flushed features and he sat forward in the chair. Gaius would return soon and they would talk and pretend that everything was going better than they expected. It would be as hollow a gesture as he felt in his chest, but it was all they had. It was like Merlin was shut away from them behind glass and Arthur hated it.

~*~

Arthur looked down as the pale, thin figure in the bed and knew without a doubt that he was losing Merlin. It had been a week and Merlin had not so much as stirred.

"How is he, Gaius?" Arthur asked as the physician tended Merlin.

"Slipping further away from this life with every breath," Gaius replied with a sigh and turned to look at him.

It was not what Arthur wanted to hear, but he nodded, knowing it was the truth. If he had not been looking hard and been able to see the virtually unnoticeable movement of Merlin's chest he would have believed Merlin to already be dead. Ever since the braces had been placed on Merlin's wrists and he had seen Merlin go completely still he had known it could not end well.

"His wounds are barely healed at all," Gaius told him, even though Arthur could see as much, "and they refuse to even seal properly. I believe Merlin requires magic the way we require food and the bindings shut it off from him completely. He exhausted himself utterly in the confrontation and I do not believe that if the bindings remain in place any longer he will live through the night."

Arthur looked at the ornate artefacts around Merlin's arms and neck and it was as if he could almost see them killing his friend, inch by inch. He knew Merlin was unique; had known it from the moment he had laid eyes on the troublesome young man who had become his friend, and he also knew he could not let this end. Merlin had done more than crawl into his heart, Merlin had crawled under his skin like no other person ever had, and no matter what his father tried to tell him, Arthur knew it was nothing to do with magic. Seeing everything that was bright in Merlin fade was unacceptable.

"Take them off," he said, just as Gaius was turning back to Merlin.

Gaius looked shocked.

"But your father..." Gaius began to say.

"My father promised me that Merlin will have a fair hearing," Arthur snapped back, "and Merlin cannot have that if he is dead before it happens. Take them off. The room will still contain him."

Gaius did not move,

"That is an order, Gaius," Arthur added, taking the full responsibility onto his own shoulders.

His father would not like it, in fact his father would rage and shout about sorcerers and their evil ways, but Arthur was not letting Merlin die.

Gaius bowed his head in acknowledgement of the order and as Arthur stood there, reached for the clasp of the first brace. Arthur watched every movement and he fancied he could see a little colour returning to Merlin's cheeks even as the first ornate binding was removed. Once the second was gone he moved forward to help, pulling Merlin's limp form into a slightly raised position so that Gaius could reach the clasp in the collar.

He felt the change the moment the bindings were removed as something tugged at part of him that he was not usually aware existed. He gave it willingly and just as he had felt that first time he had touched Merlin after the confrontation, it was as if heat seeped out of him and into Merlin. Only, this time, he knew it was not just heat.

Once the collar was removed, he helped Gaius lie Merlin back down on the pillows and then stepped back. The last thing he wanted was to be in the way. His father let him remain at Merlin's side under sufferance and he would not give anyone else a reason not to want him there. As Gaius went to place a compress on Merlin's forehead, Merlin moved and Arthur did not think he had ever been so glad to see something in his entire life. It was only the tiniest movement, little more than a twitch of neck muscles which shifted Merlin's head the smallest amount, but it was voluntary and it was real and for the first time Arthur began to hope.

Letting Gaius get on with his work, he stepped backwards and sat down in the chair by the wall. There would be fallout from this, but he could not regret it as he watched Gaius fuss over Merlin and could feel the life very slowly seeping back into his friend.