To You I Pledge (BBC Merlin)

Chapter 6 - Truth

Merlin swam back to consciousness to the feeling of being moved and he felt a pillow being put behind him. He opened his eyes slowly and came face to face with one of the other servants that he didn't really know very well. They had passed in the corridors often enough, but they weren't on chatting terms. The man took one look at him, realised he was awake and very rapidly moved away, fear in his expression. It cut Merlin right to his heart and he had to look away.

Gaius was on his other side and he looked up at his mentor, unable to hide his grief at the other man's reaction.

"Don't fret," Gaius said, placing a gentle hand on his forehead and giving him a gentle smile. "I have a tonic you need to drink and then there is some food. Thomas was just helping me sit you up. Thank you, Thomas, you may go."

Merlin did his very best to ignore the fact that the man all but fled the room. The hatred and fear of magic was too ingrained in the inhabitants of Camelot and Merlin could almost feel it where he lay. It at least gave him something to think about when he felt the magic outside the room trying to reach him as the door opened and closed. It took more effort than he cared to admit to keep from reaching out, but he knew if he did he would not be able to stop.

"He was terrified of me," he said in little more than a whisper as Gaius picked up the small beaker from the table.

"Thomas is not known around the castle for his brains," Gaius said, as if it was nothing. "I am sure he was specifically chosen for his task to prevent there being any chance of him helping you. Those who know you, Merlin, are not afraid."

Looking into Gaius' eyes, he tried to believe that, but it was very hard. Magic corrupts the soul; that was what Uther taught his subjects and he wondered how many in Camelot believed that he was corrupted.

As Gaius helped him lean up a bit and put the beaker to his mouth he drank down what was inside and it showed how in need he was, since the relief of the liquid made it to his brain before the horrible taste. He felt a little more with it on this awakening, but the way Gaius had to help him lie back again showed him how weak he was.

"Are you in danger because of me?" he asked as he watched Gaius pick up the bowl of broth next.

Gaius gave him a look that told him he should be worrying about himself for that question.

"Uther has not acted against me," Gaius replied gravely, "but I do not know what he is thinking. He allows me to see to my patients and to speak with Arthur about you, so I do not believe he will punish me, at least, not until he has chosen a course of action."

"You should leave while you have the chance," he said, all sorts of horrible ideas running through his head. "Go away from here, Gaius, be safe."

For that suggestion Gaius gave him a very hard stare with a particularly pronounced eyebrow lift.

"Stop talking nonsense, Merlin," was the short response before Gaius picked up another vial of something and offered it to him. "Let us concentrate on making you well and then we will worry about Uther."

Merlin thought it wise not to argue.

~*~

Someone opening the door woke Merlin as his body sang with the momentary flare of magic. It was just the same every time someone went in and out of the room, but he was managing to curb his reactions the more it happened. Even so he almost bit through his lip as his hands clenched in the blankets and he tried to stifle the moan that wanted to leave his throat. He longed to drag the magic to himself to will the door to stay open, but he held himself in check. As the door closed, the sensation was almost completely cut off with only the slightest hint that there was magic at all being left and he had to bring his breathing back under control as his mind screamed how wrong this was.