Curious // Billie Eilish

Chapter 6

Billie's POV

It's been a bit over a month and a half since I first met Callie, and she still doesn't know that I'm famous. We've gotten closer and closer, so much so that she's started hanging out with my family all the time too. I don't want to risk getting recognized when I'm out with her so most of the time we hang out it's at my house, which she doesn't seem to mind.

The first time she came over to hangout, I explained to Finneas and my parents that she didn't know about everything and for some reason it made my mom really happy that I was hanging out with 'average' people.

I know what she means, but Callie is far from average.

Finneas was really excited to meet her because apparently, I talk about her all the time. I don't think I talk about her that much, he's just teasing me. He wasn't disappointed when they met, he really liked her. They got along really well which made me happy, except sometimes they started geeking out about something I don't understand for, like, twenty minutes and I get bored.

My parents really like her too, especially my mom. She thinks she's super sweet and is a great person to keep me grounded. I just hope when she said that she wasn't implying she thinks I'm starting to let the fame get to my head. That's one of my biggest fears, and I hope to hell I never let it happen. I like to think it won't, but every rising star goes into the industry thinking they'll stay grounded, and that often isn't how things play out.

After that first day, she started coming over to my house all the time, not just to hang out with me but also my family. It makes me so happy how well she gets along with all of them, because I usually get the sense that my family aren't the biggest fans of a lot of my friends, mainly the famous ones.

Usually when she comes over we sit together in my room and write in a peaceful silence for a while then start goofing off and watching whatever we feel like. She works on assignments for her creative writing class while I work on songs, then we trade notebooks and proofread or give each other tips. Even though Callie isn't an experienced songwriter I always really like her input, and I truly take it to heart. I can't wait to show her the finished products after I put them together with Finneas, and she's really excited too.

Even though I love hanging out with her, I still get really confused about my feelings when I'm around her, and sometimes it really gets under my skin. She makes me feel a certain way that only a few other people have, and it weirds me out because those other people were guys I dated. I wish I could talk to someone about it, but I'm kind of scared that if I talk this out I'll figure something out about myself that I'm not ready for...if that makes sense.

I always notice cute little things about her, like how when she's studying she twirls her pen into her hair, and when she's stuck on something she nibbles her bottom lip. Speaking of her lips, I always catch myself looking at them. I can't help it; they just look so plump and soft. When she talks to other girls who seem into her, especially Lauren, I get a sinking feeling in my stomach and it puts me into a bad mood for the rest of the day, or at least until she notices that I seem pissy and does something to cheer me up. When we touch, which we do a lot more now that we're closer, I get a fluttery feeling in my stomach and tingles on my skin, like a fucking sap. All signs point to crush, but that makes no sense because I'm not into girls.

I keep telling myself that, but I'm starting to believe it less and less. I know I like guys, that's easy to figure out, but it's my feelings towards girls that are messing with my mind. Well, one girl. I've been thinking about what we talked about a few weeks ago - experimenting. I've actually been considering it, because it might help me figure out this mess in my brain. Then again, it could also make me more confused.