My Light

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I took out my camera and handed it to him. "If you really want to see them, have at it."

He held the camera in his hand and smiled. "Thank you." He scrolled through each photo.

I was nervous. For some reason, to hear what he was going to say. So I didn't watch him. I walked over to the couch and lay on it. Closing my eyes. Waiting patiently to hear his reaction to the pictures.

It was more nerve-racking to wait for his opinion on my pictures, than Lucy's.

"Wow. You are an amazing photographer." He said.

When I heard that, I sat up and opened my eyes, looking at him. "You really think so?"

He nodded. "All of these photos are beautiful."

I shook my head, correcting him. "Its not the photos that are beautiful, its the nature in the photos."

He looked at me and laughed. "Of course, how stupid of me." He sat beside me on the couch, scrolling through more photos.

"So, where do you work? Do you own your own agency?" He asked.

"I wish, but no. I work at London Photo Agency." I responded.

He looked up at me. "You want to own your own agency?"

I nodded. "Its been my dream. Since I was a child. Since my father first put a camera in my hands."

"Your father. Is he the one who inspired you to be a photogragher?" Tom asked.

Thinking about my father, made me sink a little lower into the couch. "Yeah." I didn't say anything more about my Dad. I dismissed the thoughts.

"Well, your father seems like a smart man." Tom said.

I nodded and smiled slightly.

When I finally glanced at the camera, I noticed that he was getting into the older photos. I knew what picture he was getting to. And I wanted to stop him from scrolling. But before I could take the camera, he stopped scrolling at the photo of John and I. He stared at it.

I immediately closed my eyes and looked away. Preparing myself for confrontation.

"Is this him? Is this, John?" He said. Almost sounding, depressed.

I looked back to him. Taking a deep breath before speaking. "Yes. That's John."

His eyes stayed glued to the camera. To that one photo of John and I.

"May I ask why you haven't deleted it?" He said slowly.

I took the camera and shut it off. "I'm... not ready to tell myself its over. Even though John has already told me, I still can't actually believe it. So I keep that picture. And I can't find it in me to erase it. I feel like, if I erase that... I'm erasing all of my happiness."

Tom shook his head. "Some day, you'll have enough strength to erase it. That's the good thing about cameras, you just press a button, and its gone from the memory. Unlike human minds. There is no erase button." He paused for a moment. "But there are, second chances." He smiled at me.

His words were so genuine. Like his mind was a dictionary.

He was right. I'm always going to remember John. And all of our memories. But maybe someday in the future, it will be easier to get through each day, I'll wake up with a smile, I won't think of John 24/7, the way I do. I'll have a second chance at love. Then, that got me to thinking. "But, what if I get hurt again?" I asked Tom.

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