"Pretty girls like you get lost in these woods all the time, Alexa."
On the night of Sebastián's annual Beginning of Summer Bash, amiable and adventurous Melody Tryniski went missing. What might have appeared as a juvenile escapade - a casual incide...
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DEAR YOU,
I FELL in love with Sebby when I was fourteen. This was before I was popular, right when I was between losing baby fat and acquiring teenage beauty. My braces were removed the year before and I was starting to look like a real woman, one that causes involuntary boners.
Sebby took me to smoke my first ever blunt near the riverbank, on a rock that was next to his summer house. I remember how my heart was hammering with the expectation of doing something forbidden. When he lit the blunt and smoked some of it, he passed it to me with such an ease. Our fingers touched for a second, his rough skin rubbing against my own. I felt a fluttering in my stomach, something new to me. This moment is vivid in my mind: his shining hazel eyes looking at me as if I were special, the little smirk on his pretty lips, his neck-length dreadlocks brushing to the side, the summer house looming behind him.
He was beautiful. He was perfect. I took a drag, coughed, and then laughed as the aftereffects of the weed were settling in. This moment, this memory that might not mean much to others, marked who I am today. I took a risk that only the non-ugly, popular, bold Melody Tryniski would've taken: I kissed him without even knowing how to. He kissed me back. I remember his taste, the flavor that always brings me back to that moment. It was herbal, earthy, piney. There was tongue, biting, moaning... a sloppy nature to it that reinforced the growing fluttering between my legs and stomach.
It was my first kiss. To this day, he's the only one who knows how to kiss me properly. He knows how to kiss me the way I like. I knew then that I was head over heels in love with him. I still am. That's a feeling you just can't shake off. Believe me, I've tried. That's the effect of your first love. He was my first everything. He made me love sex, specially with him. With him, it wasn't just fucking. We made love. I can confidently say that he's the only man I've ever loved. Evenmore than him. And he's the only man that loves me for me. Truly loves me, as in in love with more than just my physical appearance.
To Logan, I'm just a possession. To him, I'm just an object in which he can inflict power, reinforce dominance, and transmit hate.
My heart hurts as I write this letter. The thought of not seeing Sebby ever again is too unbearable. I swear to you, whoever you are that's reading this, that I almost got up to go to the police. Then I remembered. U has eyes everywhere, there's no escaping it. Just know that the thought crossed my mind, that I wasn't surrendering to being killed. I was forced to be killed.
Do you know about my baby yet? My baby is Sebby's, I'm sure of it. It's something that I feel deep in my bones, a feeling of euphoria in my stomach. If this baby were anyone else's, I wouldn't feel this exhilarated. I wouldn't love it. I would've had an abortion. But I'm already loving this life that's growing inside of me and that means that Sebby's the father. If you're the one reading this, my love, know that I was planning to keep it. A piece of you and me existing in the world, how wonderful would that have been? It's the ultimate form of love, not just us connecting during sex.
