TRIGGER WARNING
Drug abuse
"Hi Mira so about the offer from before..." I asked nervously fidgeting with my fingers. "What is it?" She asked straight out. "I'd like some" I said. "Some what bitch?" Mira asked back rather aggressive. "Drugs, I don't know something like LSD? I want to get away" I said looking down at my shoes. I'm really going this path huh? So much for being better than my brothers.
"Hello!?" She shouted. "Uh I'm sorry I was just in my own thoughts, so what did you say? Can yo-u-u-u get it for me?" I really need to get my stuttering checked out this is to much. "Yeah but it'll be like 50 bucks for 2 packets." She said. "50??? How am I supposed to pay you that cmon I haven't got that money and it's not like I can ask anyone.." I say. "Well since ur family I'll give it to you free for the first time...I had a customer who paid for 2 packages but never showed up to get them, so it's okay you can take it. Just this once. Understood?" She asked. "Uh-h-h yeah got it" I said looking around feeling like someone were listening in. "Do you understand what LSD is and does?" She asked me. "Uh kinda? It makes you trip right?" I said. "Yeah, it makes u trip depending on the emotion you are in, you will get red eyes bad breath and the consequences can be things such as feeling nauseous and dizzy and all that. So I'm not responsible for you and you will not tell anyone that I sold these to you. I know people got it?" She showed me a gang tattoo, damn she is a part of the river gang. I'm kinda shock now. "Yeah I got it, do you have it on hand?" I ask. "Nah it's in my car, go over to your brothers I will come give it too you. "Okay t-h-h-h-hank you" I say. "No kid this isn't thank you. You don't say thank you. Don't say thanks to the evil" she said as she left.
"Okay Emily you're going to sit with Daniel, Benji, Finn and Mattia." Dad said. "Okay see you at home" I said as I gave my dad a hug. I went around and said bye to everyone and got in the car. I sat in there a few minutes before we went of, my cousins went on "the walk" so yeah they just got back and now they are just talking a bit. I saw Mira come over so I rolled down the window. She gave it to me quickly and said bye. There we go. I have it. I have a drug in my hand.
Eventually the others got in and we started driving home. I had put the package up my selves so nobody could see. But I felt it, and all I could think about was if I'm gonna take it. Do I really wanna go down this path? What if I become addicted? Stiles did. I don't wanna be like him.
"HEY!" Daniel yelled at me, from besides me. Mattia was driving. "Sorry did you say something? I was in my own thoughts.." I said back. "Yeah I can see that, so what you said to Stiles...did you really mean that? I mean all of it? It just seemed so.." I cut him of. "So what Daniel, does it seem weird that I don't want to be abused? Does it seem weird I want to be loved? Does it seem weird that I'm at the worst my mental health have ever been in and I'm not okay, but I always say I'm okay because who really cares? Clearly you guys don't, dad couldn't give a duck about me he wants us all to be this picture perfect family, same with mom and my
Idiot cousin tried to tease me in a way too inappropriate way, I'm being bullied everyday in school I have new cuts and bruises everyday if not from you guys, then from the bullies, if not from them then from myself. So is it that weird that I just want someone to care? Someone to give a fuck? I just need someone to tell me everything's gonna be okay" I said with my voice breaking doing the last sentence. I basically had tears streaming down my face, and luckily we reached home when I was done so I ran out as fast as I could. I couldn't face them right now. Besides they would just mock me for crying. I need to get away. This is it. I've hit rock bottom. I can't deal with my life anymore. I want to get away.
Wait. I have the drugs, okay it's now or never Emily. Go up in your room lock the door and take it.
I took the package out and looked at it. I felt it. Thought about the pros and cons for taking it. I had to care. But you know what fuck it. I don't want to always care I'm just gonna do it. 1-2-3
Just like that I took it.
I felt it in a instant. It came so hard at me that I just felt back in my bed. It was as if I was traveling through the universe and I saw all types of different characters and people. They weren't sad it looked like they were enjoying themselves on this trip.
And with that I passed out.
N E X T M O R N I N G
I stood up in my bed as I felt really nauseous. I was about to throw up oh my god. I ran out to my toilet and threw up. Yuck that's disgusting. Okay I feel like I'm hungover from yesterday, I gotta calm down and take it easy to day. That fine it's Sunday. After a few hours spent in my bed thinking about last night I finally decided to get up and get in the shower. And then I did a little selfcare, and just studied the rest of the day. I guess both mommy and daddy went to work early in the morning seen as no one have checked up on Me. I needed to study for a France test and my flash cards were downstairs so I had to go down and get them. Oh god please have mercy on me.
"Look what the cat dragged out boys" Finn said as him and his friends laughed at me. I just looked around uncomfortable. "D-o-o-o-o you know w-h-h-ere Daniel or Stiles is?" I asked. Seriously stuttering in front of his friends oh god. Everyone laughed. "Guys stop that she is a kid of course she is gonna be shy or scarred, sorry Emily" Dustin said. The 2 others from the carpool weren't over, it was just Dustin, Finn and like 5 other guys. I just gave him a smile and then turned to Finn. "In the basement" he said with a grin spreading on his face. Oh no I'm not going down there. The he laughed. "Sorry Em, I was joking Daniel is in the kitchen" he said as he laughed to himself thinking about that one boitime, they locked me in the basement. I went to the kitchen and heard Daniel and Stiles talking.
"Listen, what am I supposed to tell her?? She haven't brought it up maybe she forgot?" Stilles said clearly frustrated. "A person does not simply forget a rape. Either speak or die with a sin. Let me ask you this. Is it better to speak or die?" Daniel asked with his calm attitude. "It really isn't a good time to be quoting the heptameron dude" Stiles said as he clenched his fist. "Okay man you gotta take this seriously, why don't you wanna tell her? Afraid she's gonna hate you? She hates all of us, and after everything I don't blame her..I mean the things she has to go trough.. you should of heard what she said in the car yesterday" Daniel said. "Daniel look at me. Don't you ever get a soft spot for her. Don't you remember? She was the reason I got sent of to that sick place" Stiles said in a low voice. "But-" Daniel got cut of. "Hey!" Stilles saw me. Oh my god I'm dead. "Hi I just wanted to get my Flashcards for France, have any of you guys seen it?" I ask scared. Stiles ran over to me and pushed me up by the wall. He put his hands around me throat. "Listen you little shit, you forget whatever you heard got it? I don't want you talking about this you fucking whore" Stiles whisper-yelled so nobody but us in the room would hear it. "I-m-m-m-m sorry I didn't hear anything ple-e-ease let me down" I let out almost out of breath. "You are the worst thing that have ever happens to me do you get that? You should kill yourself" Stiles whispered. That's when I started crying. I looked over at Daniel. "Please" I mouthed. "Stiles let her down" Daniel said looking down. "As you want sir" Stiles said and throw me down so I would land hard. Stiles went away and Daniel helped me up and got me my Flashcards and made sure I was okay, and not to badly hurt.
What were they talking about? The rape? Was that me? And what sick place did Stiles go to since that mad him hate me so much?
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