It was all dark and cloudy. I was tiring in my room with a cup of tea. It was so silent. I would be able to hear a pin drop right now.
Ever since that night, it have been weird around the house. It's only been 3 days. The first night was terrible when I came home. Everyone were asleep and mom and dad were at work. As I walked up the stairs my legs hurt so much and I felt like I had let my guards to much down. It was my fault for acting the way I did and I had it coming. I don't feel a thing but at the same time I feel everything. I miss being a child living in a carefree imaginary world all I want is to flip a switch and try something new because I have broken myself and it's to late. I finally got up into my room and screamed so loudly into my pillow. I can't believe this happened. What am I supposed to do now?
The next days were spent quite. I guess Stilles have told the others or something, they had backed off me for a while now.
"Hey um can you come downstairs?" Daniel asked interrupting my thoughts. "Why?" I asked still staring into the ceiling. "Mom wants to talk to you" he said as he ran of. Scared? No he must be embarrassed he always goes all red and scratches his cheek when he's embarrassed but why? Everything that happens was my fault, and have the consequences been bad. I have been throwing up 24/7 and I feel so nauseous all the time and I have all these dry cough fits and it doesn't help that I have asthma. I've also missed 3 days of school now and practice. Great.
As I gathered myself, I looked in the mirror for the first time since that night. My hair was a mess, there was spit in it and throw up spit, I smelt really bad and my face and body felt so dirty. I couldn't make myself that care of me. I feel like I'm his now. His or well theirs property and I just can't look at my own body or be naked, without throwing up over the thought.
I tried my best and put on a hoodie and just wrote the same sweatpants and underwear as the last 3 days. As I went outside I felt a different air than the one in my room. God. I'm really about to go down and talk with my family. Please show me mercy dear god I can not handle another bad thing. Thank you for listening.
As I went down the stairs I saw my mom places at the dinner table alone. Dad was probably at work. She looked tired and out burned. Probably just got home.
"Yes mom?" I said in a questioning tone making my presence known to her. "Please sit down Emily" she said as she scraped her hair. She gave me a weird vibe somethings wrong. I sat down and looked down at my hands. All of the sudden she lets out a gulp and takes my hand and holds it tight. "Listen Emily, you are a pretty and awesome person and you know you can trust me your dad and your brothers with everything right?" She said with a big snif following. Her eyes were all red she had been crying. "Um yeah I know..." I said fidgeting with my fingers and handling my own terrible thoughts, because I don't feel like I can go to her or anyone about this. "Please look at me hunny" she said. I didn't I felt to ashamed. "EMILY MCCALL LOOK ME IN THE GODAMN EYES" she yelled as she slapped me on the cheek.
She started at me and then her hand and then at me and then back at her hand in shook. She had just hit her own child. I was shocked to. I had never expected my mom out of everyone to ever lay her hands on me. I took a hand up to my right cheek and held it softly in shook. "I'm so sorry Emily I didn't mean to.." she mumbled of at the end. I felt like I was in another world. This is just not real. My mom kept on blabbering and all of the sudden she said it.
"Emily why did you use a pregnancy test?" She said, as she looked at me with cold eyes.
I was in shook I was sure I had gotten rid of it correctly. It was just to make sure nothing happens with those boys. Stilles got it for me. Now that. That's messed up.I thought quickly and said.: "mom it was for a project I swear!"
"Really? What the hell would you use a pregnancy test to?" She said as she pulled out a wrapper. Omg there's is no physical pregnancy test just the wrapper! Perfect.
"My and Mia were doing a project on teen pregnancy" I said. I saw Stilles on the staircase giving me a convince her more-look. "Mom I would never do anything bad." I said with tears in my eyes as I held her hand. She looked at me for a solid 2 minutes. Please notice I'm not okay! Please notice that there isn't a Mia! Please notice that I'm not okay! Please! I thought all in my head.
