Royally Flawsome ♛

30 ♛

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He was shrinking, getting tinier with every step he took from me. I had forgiven him and I knew he knew that too but why did it feel weird? Why did I have mixed emotions about seeing him? He had a change that made me happy, he was vibrant and healthy unlike two weeks ago when I saw a glimpse of him on the news, hidden in that black hoodie of his. He looked like when I first met him, his eye bags drooping all the way down from his face, he looked pale and miserable and I knew I was the cause of it and it was still eating me inside. I was the reason he returned to that unhealthy state but seeing him now looking vibrant and healthy made me feel some sort of relief, I wasn't a monster. But What if he was still hurting? What if it was all a performance? Maybe I was a monster.

A normal ex-potential girlfriend would have been happy to see him miserable but I wasn't I hadn't even given him a chance, slammed the doors shut on his face and blocked every entry point for him. I was the cause of his misery and I extremely felt horrible.

He was no longer visible, long gone and leaving me standing in the cold alone. I look up at the apartment then back to the road he had taken. I follow it, I knew exactly where he had gone to. The Old abandoned Bridge, considerably our first date site.

.

And I was right, he was sitting on the edge of the unsafe bridge, his silhouette slumped forward. I walk up carefully towards him afraid that the bridge might give in and I'd drop onto the frozen river.

He senses my presence and looks over at me, his eyes glinting for a second than quickly darkening, "Hey," he whispers, a mist of smoke leaving his mouth.

"Hey," I whisper back, I was now standing next to him looking down at the glinting snow that he was so focused at.

"So how have the past two months been?" I jump up to sit next to him and scoot closer.

"Good," his response was almost automatic.

Silence.

Then he croaks, "What about you?"

"Well..." a laughter interrupts me and for no particular reason I smile. I liked his laugh.

"Is this going to be long? Should I get popcorn?" He wasn't making eye contact. I wanted to see how his eyes wrinkled by the edges when he smiled.

"Well let me start then because it has been the longest two months." And so I tell him, every single detail. About how Miss Tatu was diagnosed with Cancer and how she might leave without me seeing her. I explain about my graduation, one of the happiest day of my life, my new job as a nurse at St Peter Hospital for kids suffering from Cancer and mention how Logan was by my side because I felt guilty to not include him.

I liked Logan, he was always so sweet and caring. And it didn't take long for us to finally be a 'thing' because unlike Max, he was open, he wasn't a mystery I tried so hard to figure out and he actually asked me out instead of using my window as a door and kind of keeping me hostage at some castle for days. I excluded all that from my story.

But as much as I hated to admit it, I still held strong feelings for Max. But I wasn't going to betray Logan because things were simpler with him, no paparazzi, no sneaking out, no one against us. Just us, a normal couple with no drama.

"You like it with him?" He speaks for the first time since I started talking about my two months.

"Who?" I knew who.