Once Upon A Blue Moon

Marcus POV

Where is it? Where the fuck are they!?  I had extra in this damn drawer just in case and... And... They are all missing!?

It's so late at night. I won't survive another hour without those damn sleeping pills! Fuck! Where are they!?

I pick up the telephone and call downstairs.

" Yes sir? "Gregory's irritating voice calls, and I roll my eyes.

"Get your fucking ass up here! "I yell,

" Yes sir. "He replies, and I roll my eyes again in irritation.

"Now!! "I yell into the phone before putting it down.

My fingers and entire body is trembling horribly. I am so addicted to those things, thanks to my father's horrible parenting.

The psycho just had to feed me those poisons to put me to sleep while I was younger and now I'm older and addicted. And the f*cker is never here when I need him. He's been out of town for three days now and I don't even know where his sorry ass is.

Gregory knocks on my door and I make my demand known to him. He runs back to the guest rooms downstairs and after five minutes, he returns with the pills. I shut the door and relax on my bed as I ingest the chemicals.

I am so used to these things, they don't put me to sleep. I have grown over its effects. Thanks to my fucking father and that old prick face grandfather of mine. Good thing he died before I had the chance to kill him.

My phone buzzes and I pick it up. It's a reminder of my appointment with the therapist. I honestly won't be doing this therapy if my stupid father didn't threaten me with my allowance.

Who the hell does that doctor think he is? Telling me I have mild OCD {Obsessive Compulsive Disorder} and building BPD {Borderline Personality Disorder}. Fuck him!

I have never been so insulted! I hate going to him. He... He... Makes me feel like I'm insane. He makes me feel weak and he drives me nuts.

He keeps asking stupid questions. How dare he ask about my mother!? I.. I.. Know nothing about her.

I have few flashbacks of a brown-haired bony figure singing to me and I hear screams and see my father standing over a figure with a blurred face and a belt in his hand.

I... Don't know her. But I miss her, I need her. If she were here, I may not have been this way. My dumb father cares nothing about me.

He just wants me to flaunt his wealth, be the boss, look good, and not spoil his name. He was here but at the same time never was.

He never gave me a single birthday card,  He only bought expensive shits and presented them to me in one of those big shity birthday parties he threw for me to show off to other kids.

I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know my middle name. I remember when I was ten and he hit me with his belt cause I was asking bout my mom. The scar is still on my back.

I roll my head back as I reminisce on how much I miss and need my mom.

But no! I'm good. I'm strong... I'm... Not weak... I'm Marcus Francisco. I'm not weak. I get what I want, when I want it and how I want it.

I got Flora, Gina, Laina and soon, I will have Tina. That proves it! I'm a man! A complete man.

Life hasn't broken me! I'm still an alpha. Life can try all it wants, but I won't break.  I'm the boss...

I grunt in annoyance as I hold my head and think about my life. It's... It's miserable...

I sink into my bed as my whole body vibrates in sorrow and tears escape my eyes.

I've always missed my mother. I've always wanted her around. Truth be told, I am a broken man. Beneath all this facade of strength, victory, wealth, and tyranny, I'm just a messed-up kid who has never had a normal life.

I have watched other kids have the love of their parents. If not from both parents, then from one. But I have never had such care nor attention.

To make it worst, the doctor indirectly told me I am mentally unstable as I am suffering from a mental state that makes me easily obsessed, and a personality Disorder that makes me want to have things done my way.

But these are all lies! It's not true. I've never been obsessed with anyone, never have, and never will be. I... I. I only love one person and want one person.

And it's Laina. l love Laina! I know that... that I didn't go about things the right way. I have never felt this way about any girl. Yes when it was Gina, I just wanted her body. Same as Flora, but Laina... She is different, perfect, sweet, and tender.

I... I do what I do to girls cause it's the only thing in my life that I do and know that no one has a say over. The one thing my tyrant father can't stop me from doing is just that.

I know it sounds stupid and maybe the doctor is right. Maybe I have lost my marbles, but I know for a fact that I am a sex addict and I need sex to think. Yes, I am not normal. I won't dispute that.

I know it makes no sense and no one understands. I swear I also don't understand myself either but doing what I do is the only thing that keeps me feeling like an alpha...

I take more sleeping pills in my mouth and crush them as I close my eyes to rest my nerves.

The only thing my mind can think of is Laina. I wonder what she's doing now.