I Wish To Die Peacefully

Chapter 5: The Duke's Will

AVA

When I awakened to someone's warmth engulfing my hand, I almost cried. I blinked the tears back and shoved them down my throat. I cry way too easily these days. I've gotten weak. I originally had more self-control...

Suddenly, I heard someone speak, close to my side.

"My lady..." the soft, manly voice remarked, ever so gentle.

I can recognize the voice. It was the same, familiar voice that stayed calm, patient and radiant even when I made no effort to give a reply...

"Please wake up... This world may be wretched but there are many reasons to stay alive..."

Hearing that, I was choked up with overwhelming emotion. Yukina was right... There really is someone waiting for me to wake up.

With difficulty, I opened my mouth and tried to speak. My voice was weak from days of dormancy but the words came out audibly.

"Would you mind... telling me one or two... of those reasons?" I said.

When Sir Pearson looked at me, his golden eyes were wide with surprise. He called my name, stuttering in his shock, perhaps trying to confirm whether I really am awake or not.

This person... He didn't know me nor did not have anything to do with me. He was only here for his job and I was but another patient but I know that he has done so much more than his call of duty.

He didn't have to try so hard, and he didn't have to force himself to deal with a stubborn patient like me, but he still did. Despite being a total stranger, he was genuinely concerned. Perhaps that was the reason why I decided to tell him about myself and ask for help.

I owe him gratitude. And he deserves to see what he came for...

I mustered a smile. Perhaps it looked awkward for I cannot remember the last time I smiled. Still, for this person, I should try my best.

"Good morning, Sir Pearson..." I greeted.

~~~

PEARSON

I cried for the second time.

I, both as a child of a noble and a light magic wielder, had always been taught how to keep my emotions under control. However, I found myself showing much more emotion than necessary for the past month.

The first time I ever felt genuine pity and cried for someone else's sake and even the first time I raised my voice at a higher noble and lost my temper; every single time, it was because of her.

I didn't know what it was about her that shook me up. Was I merely concerned? Sympathetic? Was it because she was the first person to ask me for help to take her own life instead of begging me to let her live longer?

Whatever it may be, it doesn't really matter. Just the weight of her words... That morning greeting... It was enough to harrow up my very soul.

"Sir Pearson.... Please..." I heard Lady Ava say and I suddenly felt cold fingertips on my face. She wiped the trail of tears on my cheek with her thumb and said, "Don't cry. What's wrong?" There was a trace of panic in her tone.

Through the blur of tears, I looked at her. Her lovely face, still gaunt and pale from the ordeals she had gotten through, is full of worry. She continued brushing off the tears on my face, looking genuinely concerned.

I must have frightened her for crying so suddenly. I must calm down. This is not how I should behave in front of a patient and a lady.

"I'm so sorry..." I told her. "It's just... To see Lady Ava waking up and greeting me, it was just so overwhelming. I haven't gotten enough sleep last night. That must be why I'm so unstable right now... Forgive me," I explained, getting up and wiping my eyes and face.