a succubi's problems - jjk x bts

chapter six

"I'm—i'm okay,"

Jeongguk says, after it takes him a further fifteen minutes to calm down. Going from stuttered breathing and staccato cries (the closest he's been to a panic attack, which is why his friends are cautious with how they touch him, gently and with care as to make sure they don't overwhelm him, it's almost too sweet for Jeongguk who feels like crying at just that alone, if he wasn't crying because of everything else) to whatever this is — numbness, maybe? Whatever it is, Jeongguk likes it more than the panic before. Maybe he's just exhausted himself, because he feels his muscles sag as he falls backwards into the couch, cheeks colouring all ruddy red in embarrassment as his friends continue to just rub comforting hands across his thighs, shoulders, taehyung massaging his neck with his big, soft hands. They don't say anything, just wait for Jeongguk to calm down a little more, wiping the final, stray tears from his cheeks.

"M' sorry for—" Jeongguk gestures to himself, cheeks colouring further. He wants to curl up in a hole and never come out, the self consciousness his pathetic little breakdown creates almost too much to handle. "Being stupid, it—it's not a big deal—"

"Don't apologise for crying Jeongguk," Namjoon says, rubbing Jeongguks knee through his sweats. Jeongguk lets the comfort that his words create wash through him. "You're allowed to be upset, people you care about are sick, it's okay,"

Jeongguk shakes his head, wiping under his wet eyes with an embarrassed chuckle. "M' just being dramatic, is'all,"

This time it's Jimins turn to shake his head. "No, gguky, you're not. You're allowed to cry,"

Maybe, but not in front of all of you, especially after I've just lied to your faces.

"Y—yeah, I know,"

"Do you?" Jin asks, "because your face is an alarming shade of red right now,"

Jeongguks face only reddens further. "Yeah, well." Is all he can think to say, trailing off in discomfort, looking away from all their faces because he's scared he might actually die of all the embarrassment, despite his previous words.

"Jeongguk, you're worrying us," Hoseok says, drawing Jeongguks eyes back to the dancer who looks at him with soft eyes from his spot sitting on the coffee table. "Why don't you want to go home?"

"It—it's not a big deal. It's not that bad there I just — said that. I guess," Jeongguk lies. "Don't worry, I was exaggerating. I'm over tired, is'all."

It's a believable lie, Jeongguk was known for being dramatic sometimes. But this time his dramatics had almost thrown him into a panic attack — so then again, maybe it wasn't so believable. They all stare back at him, not convinced, and Jeongguk thinks he'll just have to admit defeat this one time because there's nothing else he can say to make them believe him, and they must realise that too, because Namjoon stares at him for a minute and then sighs.

"We'll talk more about this in the morning, alright? I don't know why you're lying to us, but I'm going to believe it's for a good reason," he says, standing up and reaching out a hand that Jeongguk immediately takes, letting himself get pulled up despite his wobbly knees protesting against it. "Get some rest kook, okay?"

Jeongguk nods, decides not to tell him that he's going to take a shower first, because he has a feeling they'll try and persuade him out of it and that normally ends in Jeongguk doing as he's told, and he doesn't want to do that tonight. So he just wipes his eyes with a closed fist, mumbling out an "okay, hyung," as he stumbles past them, Jimin and taehyung stay by his side as he walks down the hallway to their shared room, all the others worried looks following him until he disappears behind his door.