Deathless

Chapter 15: Millie

I have my hands wringing together in my lap, an uncomfortable fluttering in my belly. I'm trying to focus on the world outside the car window, but we're sitting in traffic, unmoving. Silence has fallen between us and Jackson is tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. Something tells me it might be something close to nervousness, though I can't think why. I know I'm not the only girl Jackson has driven home on a Sunday morning. I'm certainly not the first he's made breakfast for.

"Do all girls get a lift home or is the gold star treatment just for me?" Something flickers in his eyes and I instantly regret my words. I sound like I'm judging and I'm not. I just don't know how to be around him. This is new, whilst people like Jackson, like Chloe, have been in the world, making connections and memories with lovers. I've been in stuffy hospital rooms and watching daytime TV. I don't regret the time I had with Mum, not for a second, but I can't help but feel self-conscious about all the things I don't know. And there are a lot of things. I turn to look at him, trying to keep my thoughts quiet, but I know it's written all over my face.

I like him.

I like how dark his hair is, so black it almost seems to absorb rather than reflect light, his pale skin that's creamy with a faint sheen of gold running through like marble. The silvery glimmer of his eyes, but more than that, I like how I feel around him. The noise that's been pounding in my head since Mum died is a little quieter. He's not like anyone else I've ever met, and despite the shiny veneer he hides behind, I can feel the man underneath. The thoughtful, smart and kind man buried under the gloss.

He looks at me, his lips curling into a smile, those bright eyes taking me in. For a moment, I could swear he felt the same. There was that softness again, like he was looking at something new and precious, even though it was only me he was looking at. But then the charm-personified expression returns and I wonder if I'd just imagined it.

"Couldn't let you walk home in that now, could I?" He grins mischievously. His eyes lingering on the black of my bra strap where his T-shirt has slipped down my shoulder. I smile, glad he was looking at me, how I was looking at him.

The traffic moves and the car speeds off toward Roisin's house. Jackson only needed the basic directions to know where he was going. He knows these streets like any taxi driver.

"Thanks again for last night. And I'm sorry I almost took you out with a lamp."

"No problem. And thank you for allowing me to keep my skull intact."

I snort, and we both laugh.

"Trust me, it was pretty close there for a second, but... I think I've grown quite fond of your skull."

He smiles at me again, and I know it's a smile he shoots at all women. I know the moments that are just for me and the ones he puts on when he's trying to pretend. The car pulls up sleekly outside Roisin's house. I notice curtain-twitching, but nothing more. He turns to me, grinning brightly.

"Here you go. I liked making breakfast for you, Millie."

My heart's pounding. He's sitting there and I know he won't say more. It's up to me. He's holding back, but I don't know why. Chloe or Marnie would know what to say. What are the right words to say I want to see him again. That I don't want this to be the last time I see Jackson Mort.

"Well, you could always make breakfast for me again sometime?" His eyebrows shoot up and I hear the double meaning in my words. For a moment, I'm embarrassed, but then I sit up. Whichever way he wants to take my words, I mean them. "I'd like to see you again, Jackson."

I meet his eyes, and something like disappointment runs through them. He runs his fingers through his hair, pushing the dark locks off his forehead. It's a practised move and I sense what's coming before his lips part.