Deathless

Chapter 22: Jackson

I'm the worst person in the world. I'm slime. Lucius was right. It was Millie I'd hurt. I thought I could protect her, keep the heartbreak to myself, but I'd been an asshole. An arrogant one, the worst kind. When her kiss-bruised lips let slip the truth of her inexperience, the hopeful look in her eyes had broken me. She'd trusted me, given me a first she couldn't take back, and I'd freaked out, thrown it in her face as I struggled to deal with my guilt.

It shouldn't have been me. It should have been someone who could give her more.

I'm running as fast as my legs will carry me, my lungs burning, my muscles on fire. The roads are quiet, but the streets are packed, bustling with groups of people on nights out. The harsh lights from nightclubs and takeaway restaurants burn into my sockets. The oil from the fried food coats my throat and tongue.

"Millie!"

She's a tiny blur in the distance. She's so far ahead and man, can that girl run. She'd bolted down the stairs and through the thick crowds of the club without a glance back in my direction. I'd followed her dark waves and emerald dress through Worship and out into the cold streets, all the while yelling her name and pleading with her to listen to me. I'd ignored the dark looks as I shoved people out of my way, the confused stares of my bouncers and bar staff. I don't stop though, I can't. However conflicted I feel, however much I know what I'm doing is wrong. I can't keep away from her.

She runs further away from the nightlife. People thin out into the odd person. The buildings around us turn empty and black, the road lit only by street lights.

"Millie!" I yell again, but she doesn't turn. She just keeps racing into the dark distance. The lights above my head flicker and sizzle, and I slow down as not only the noise grows, but the electricity swells. They flash, faster and faster, growing brighter and brighter. Then they burst with a violent crack. Sparks fall to the ground like from a waterfall. I gasp, covering my head with my arms, falling to my knees as the glass rains down around me.

The streets descend into pure darkness. The shadows of the looming buildings on either side of the road seem to grow longer, stretching across the street like onyx claws. Only the faint glow of stars breaks through the oppressive black. I drag myself up and stare down the street, but Millie is long gone. Everything around me is dark and silent like the city is suddenly empty.

And then I hear them. I hear the ravens. Hear the blistering flap of their oily wings, splitting the quiet of the night. Hear them land at my feet and, one by one, they surround me. They land on car roofs, window ledges, on the limply hanging street lights and on every available space on the road and pavement around. Hundreds of them. They squawk and caw, flap and flutter their wings, all fixing their dead marble eyes on me.

"Not now, not now!" I yell into the night. My arms go wide as I twist on the road, staring at the hundreds of birds, all staring at me. I groan, my anger slipping to resignation. "Tell me where you are? Tell me what you need from me?"

I run my hands through my hair, across my face. I feel hot, sweating despite the cool air. Everything smells like smoke and electricity. Glass crunches under my feet. I glance again in the distance, knowing she was out there, and he had me trapped here. I needed to get to her.

"Help... me..." they caw in unison. I laugh bitterly, turning around to take them all in.

"Then tell me where to find you?"

"Help... me."

I swear under my breath, my fists clenched. This is not something I want. I don't want to be the person Death needs. I refuse to need him.

"How!" I bellow, my words echoing through the empty streets. "How am I supposed to find you if that's all you can say? Come on, you need to give me something."

Silence. The birds just watch me, their eyes piercing.

"Trapped..." they finally utter. The word turns my blood cold. I feel the ice drip down my spine. I lean down on my knees, gulping in the cold air, thick with scents from the city. It does nothing to help me. My chest heaves, and each breath burns. I didn't want to feel it. I didn't want to care about Death. Scythe and what this was doing to it, yeah. How it was tearing apart my friends, definitely. But whatever was happening to Death, I didn't want to care about that. But the feeling came anyway, of worry, of fear.

"I don't have time for this. Tell me where you are?"

Silence.

"You don't know, do you? Whoever has you locked up, has you locked down good." I laugh. I can't help it. There is something about power being brought to its knees. About how the Ethereal who created Scythe from the smallest speck of dust, turning it into a gleaming skyscraper full of magic, is resorting to communicating via bloody ravens.

"What do you need me to do..." I start, but my voice dries up. My body turns stiff. I'm thinking of Millie. I'm thinking of the musical laugh that escapes her lips when she lets go, how she can be delicate and ferocious all at the same time, the way she can tear me in two with just the raise of an eyebrow. I'm thinking about the idea of anyone but me being inside her for her first time. And everything turns hard, everything turns clear.

With no Death, there was no risk of Millie being taken from me. With no Death, we could be together. He'd return. He was the most powerful being in the world, after all. Whoever had him trapped wouldn't contain him for long. He'd catch us and destroy me. But in the meantime, I could have years, maybe decades, with her. I pull myself up till I'm standing straight and the hardness moves over me. My fists clench, and my jaw aches with resolve. I glance around at the eyes of Death as they peer through his winged servants.

"I can't help you. I won't help you." My serpent voice is barely above a whisper, but they hear it regardless. A couple of the ravens take flight. Start soaring around my head, darting down and slashing at my face, my clothes, and my hands with their talons. Hot blood skims down my flesh.

With a wave of shrieks, every raven takes flight all at once. A black tornado rages as they circle me, their cries reaching ear-shattering levels. I'm trapped in a dome of feral blackness.

"Let me go! You heard me. I won't help you." I yell into the darkness, screaming louder and louder as they fly faster, their shrill cries growing and growing. Their beaks peck, the claws cut, and my blood splatters to the tarmac ground. Hot blood pumps through me, and as I turn and twist in the centre of this storm of horror, my heart pounds in my ears. Decades of anger, of built-up rage, pour out of me like acid.

"You took everything from me! You lied to me and you thought making me a reaper, giving me this life would make it all OK? Why should I help you?" Something clicks. I feel it like I can feel them. Every one of them. Each bird is now connected to me. Tethered to me by an invisible thread. They stop, hover in midair, their beaks and eyes wide in horror. I'm panting as the shock and confusion hit me. How am I doing this? But I know it's me and not Death. But as I speak, I know he can hear, I know he can feel me.

"I choose her. I choose her."

Raising my hands, I feel the life force of the birds on my fingertips. Their heartbeats entwined with my own raging muscle. They are still hanging, frozen in the air. And then I let go, my hands drop to my sides and the birds are free. Free from me, free from Death. Screaming in horror and fear, they take flight into the night sky, their cries and feathers linger on as they soar away.

I stand there panting, the horror of what I'd just done. Not just controlling the birds but turning my back on Death and Scythe hits me hard. Around me, the street lights return to normal. Glowing faintly, lighting up the road ahead, lighting my way to her.