thirteen

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"Don't you want to visit Aunt Zinnia? I want to see paa and mom."

When I asked Kai what does he wants for his birthday, he told me he was thinking & considering the options. And after a month of celebrating his birthday, he came up with his wish of wanting to see his parent's graves. At his innocent question, I didn't answer him, as I, myself, didn't know the answer. What could I say? That I can't face my mother, I haven't seen her single picture, I'm afraid. I know this was not what I promised myself, but with my mother I need time, I can't bring myself facing her until I become someone she'll be proud of.

As I stood there outside the cemetery where his parents and my mother were buried, I sent only Kai to pay his greetings to his parents. He looked at me strangely, I was so near yet I wasn't seeing my mother.

When he came back after paying his respect, we silently drove back to the mansion, until he broke the silence with his hesitant words, "Why didn't you see Aunt Zinnia?"

He used to call my mother Aunt Zinnia, although he was young he knew who his real mother was and never gave that position to my mother still, their relationship was harmonious. Without looking at him, I answered as truthfully as I can, "I don't know, a part of me is angry with her, and a part of me...afraid."

His childish curiosity piqued.

"Angry? why?"

"Why did she have to leave me this soon." Although my voice was plain, one could still hear the edgy reproach in it. I know my words are unreasonable, she gave me all the time she had but I was the one who never returned her anything, and now, I'm left with nothing but my regret. But if only if, she stayed with me, maybe just maybe, I would have not become 'the Allea' I did.

As if sixteen years weren't enough, it was my fault, not hers.

"And afraid, why?"

After a pause of a few seconds, words automatically came out of my mouth, "I did something I'm not proud of, I was someone that she never imagined her daughter to be."

I don't know why I'm telling this to Kai, but I like that he listens even if he can't understand my words, he nods and says something silly in the end.

"I think you're good just like Aunt Zinnia!"

A slight smile spread on my lips at his words, see, silly.

...

As usual, the days continued to pass, my routine remained the same, but now without Jackson things were a little overwhelming however my team was quite proficient in doing their work. Jackson calls after about every week to inform us about his health and other things, everything was fine on his side too. The construction of the project with Ming Technologies was also going the way we imagined along with that I have decided to expand the company's investments. Therefore, while on one hand, I'm taking more projects, investments are also being done in new companies, hotel chains, real estate, and everything where we can expand our claws globally.

Call me greedy or whatever but I will never stop until Allgaier Corporation becomes a name known by the whole world.

I'm also thinking of doing my own personal investment with the money I earn as CEO, but I don't want to invest in something I will benefit from -strange I know- I don't need more money, in coming years I'll be rich enough with what I'll rightfully earn. That's why I want to invest my money for a cause, maybe some organization.

That's when a particular memory surfaced.

We had a Pit Bull with whom I grew up till the age of five, as I was too young, I can only recall vaguely. It was with my mother before my birth, and when my biological father left, finding a job, trying to survive, with me being too young and taking my care, her going through emotional stress, left my mother disoriented. The Pit Bull's name was Jordy, my mother used to call it her best friend, but when time fell hard, Jordy was the most neglected one.

Because of this carelessness, it started acting out, and eventually, it lead to him bitting someone when one day we visited a nearby park, one child pushed me off the swing, and he -for protecting my tiny-self- bit the child. A poor innocent being had to face the consequences of our failure to take good care of him, what happened to him I'm not so sure, however, I never saw him again but I do remember seeing my mother cry as my last memory of Jordy is: him being hugged by my mother and her tears unstoppable as she held him close.

Isn't it funny, how without realizing we humans are so oppressive. It's in our nature to change things how we like, including other humans, or our surroundings, and even animals. We have to understand that not everything can be tamed- we take animals from their natural habitat and force them to live against their instincts and how we want, even if it's against their nature, we try to overpower them, and when they don't change we call them wild, forgetting that this is what they are. We want them to go against their instincts and stifle what they truly are -to live among us, some can be tamed and some can't but no, we have to make everything follow us, just because they can't protest, speak for themselves so they only attack. Why not do something for them, be their voice, and give freedom to their instincts? For years, humans have tried to tame animals but what if for once we start to live according to their needs? Instead of taming them, we try to live following them and for once not try to suppress them.

From a simple memory of our pet dog Jordy, the idea of an organization came to life -the animal rescuing-working organization, following the aim to give animals a free home where they can just be themselves free of the bounds and restrictions.

And that's when I became certain of what I want to do with my money.

Nothing of this has settled yet, along with this I still have to get admission to a university but as decided I'm giving a whole year to only this company first.

...

About three months later, since Jackson left and I became CEO, I was returning home from a quite late-night meeting with a company we are investing in, unaware of what was waiting for me.

It was around one in the night, my assistants were excused as I dropped them off near their residences despite their resistance. I was driving alone toward the mansion. I don't really drive fast, but this particular night I was going unusually speedy because it was getting too late, I rarely stay out at night so I was eager to reach home, the roads were pretty much empty too. Out of nowhere, someone jumped in front of my car, one second this man was standing at the side-walk and the next in front of my car.

If not for my instincts, I would have just run over him but at the exact moment, I turned the steering wheel and pulled the breaks, and even with my seatbelt and airbags, I too hardly stopped myself from going directly out of the windshield with such sudden force the car stopped.

I was breathing hard and my heart beating wildly, but still composing myself I stepped out of my car, a part of me was warning me to just avoid this and drive away but seeing the man lying there on the road, I couldn't.

...

//Shout-out to Dean Schneider! (He is a 28-year-old Swiss animal sanctuary founder and social media personality based in South Africa.) I thank him for inspiring millions, including me, with his amazing personality and work. Please support him! //

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