CHAPTER 12

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Pain

As I turned on the highway heading towards my home, I could not deny the heart-wrenching pain I felt spread through my body. I subconsciously pressed my palm into my stomach, massaging it while I groaned softly.

"Is it hurting badly?" Daisy asked with a concerned look.

I was unsure how best to explain my feelings, so I took a moment to answer her.

"I feel sad, empty, not like myself. Not to mention, I am having these severe cramps. I swear it feels like my period is on, and the shit is annoying." I scoffed

Daisy laughed, causing me to turn my head at an angle to where I was glaring at her and still watching the road.

"Relax, you're going to feel like that due to you fighting what the mate bond wants. I wouldn't be surprised that Elijah is also experiencing the same thing."

What?

"Dammit, I almost forgot that he felt what I felt when I left the last time. God, I hope he can forgive me." I whispered.

Her hand squeezed my thighs.

"Helena, I know you're trying to do what you think is right, but we should return to the packhouse. You are safer there. No one is being forced to protect you."

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Oh, I know that, and I'm grateful you would do such a thing for me." I paused, "But, I just can't accept this as my fate, as his fate. What kind of love or life will we have if we constantly defend our relationship? What if we have kids? What will become of them? Will they, too, suffer the same fate? I must find a way to protect myself, him, and any future kids we may or may not have." I sighed.

As soon as the words left my mouth, I recalled my dream. I wondered what happened to the child Elias and Phoebe left behind. Did she survive? Did she understand the depth of her parent's love? They were willing to die for one another. I know it was a dream, but that same feeling Phoebe had when Elias made her leave is what I feel now. The more I thought about it, the more I understood her motivation for turning around. Why did she risk not being able to watch her child grow up? Why was it so important to make sure he was safe?

Selflessness

I turned in the driveway, not even bothering to shut the car off. I told Daisy to give me a few minutes to grab the directions to my grandparent's cabin and the keys. Once, I rushed to the kitchen drawer, holding the keys and the directions scribbled on the back of a postcard. Before shutting the drawer, I noticed a crumpled-up picture in the corner. I opened it to see a picture of my grandparents, mom, myself, and dad. I had to be no older than six years old. I smiled at how happy we looked. How at peace we were that day. I tucked the picture in my pants pocket, turned on my heels, running back to the car.

While putting the car in reverse, I noticed Daisy's face twitching in discomfort and her hands pinching the bridge of her nose.

"What's wrong, Daisy?"

"Elijah knows you are gone, sweetheart, and he is not incredibly happy about it. Not one bit." She sighs

"I am so sorry. Is Elijah yelling at you through the mind link?" I asked

"More like he is chastising me right now. The fact that you're not answering his calls is infuriating him even more."

Fuck

"Oh my God, I left my fucking phone on the kitchen counter. I will call Elijah when we get there. I promise. Can I ask you a question? Why doesn't it hurt you when you're away from Jax like it hurts Elijah and me." I wondered

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