Big Bang Theory : The Twins

The Dumpling Paradox

Howard: Watch this, it's really cool. Call Leonard Hofstadter.

Howard's phone: Did you say, call Helen Boxleitner?

Howard: No. Call Leonard Hofstadter.

Howard's phone: Did you say, call Temple Beth Sader.

Howard: No.

Leonard: Here, let me try. Call McFlono McFloonyloo. Heh-heh.

Howard's phone: Calling Rajesh Koothrappali. (Raj's phone rings).

Raj: Oh, that's very impressive. And a little racist.

Sheldon: If we're all through playing mock the flawed technology, can we get on with Halo night, we were supposed to start at eight, it is now 8:06.

Leonard: So? We'll start now.

Sheldon: Yes, first we have to decide if those lost six minutes will be coming out of game time, bathroom time or the pizza break.

Raj: We can split it two, two and two.

Howard: If we're having anchovies on the pizza we can't take it out of bathroom time. (There is a knock on the door.)

Sheldon: Oh, what fresh hell is this?

Leonard (opening door): Hey Penny, come on in.

Penny: Hey guys.

Howard: See a Penny, pick her up, and all the day you'll have good luck.

Penny: No you won't. Uh, can I hide out here for a while.

Leonard: Sure. What's going on.

Penny: Well, there's this girl I know from back in Nebraska, Christie, well anyway she called me up and she's like "Hey, how's California," and I'm like "Awesome" 'cos, you know, it's not Nebraska, and the next thing I know she's invited herself out here to stay with me and i said yes as Ariana is on a trip with her crew so extra bedroom

Sheldon: 8:08.

Penny: Anyway, she got here today, and she's just been in my apartment, yakkety-yakking about every guy she's slept with in Omaha, which is basically every guy in Omaha, and washing the sluttiest collection of underwear you have ever seen in my bathroom sink.

Howard: Well, is she doing it one thong at a time, or does she just throw it all in, like some sort of erotic bouillabaisse.

Penny: He really needs to dial it down.

Leonard: So, if you don't like this Christie, why are you letting her stay?

Penny: Well, she was engaged to my cousin while she was sleeping with my brother, so she's kind of family.

Sheldon: You know, I apologise for my earlier outburst, who needs Halo when we can be regaled with the delightfully folksy tale of the whore of Omaha?

Leonard: Oh, I don't think she's a whore.

Penny: No, yeah she's definitely a whore. I mean, she has absolutely no standards, this one time, she was at... where's Howard?

Howard (voice off): Bonjour mademoiselle, I understand you're new in town.

Sheldon: Oh good grief.

Credit Sequence

Scene: Penny, Sheldon, Raj and Leonard stand in the apartment doorway. Romantic music plays from Penny's apartment door.

Penny: Ugh, I cannot believe Christie let Howard into my apartment.

Sheldon: And I cannot believe people pay for horoscopes, but on a more serious note it's 8:13 and we're still not playing Halo.