What We Become | Book Two

PART TWO: EM

30. The Urge

"Do you know why you're here?" Dr. Rhodes asked. She spoke too softly, almost patronising and it set my teeth on edge.

I shot her a sarcastic smile. "You all think I need therapy."

Her head tilted, visibly unamused at my response. "You shouldn't see this as therapy, Em. This is to help you adjust."

"But you're a therapist?"

"I was."

A set of once manicured fingers twitched around the pen in her hand as she bit the inside of her cheek.

This is how it was. They examined my behaviour and I noticed every movement they made, no matter how insignificant. It was as if my senses were still on high alert but my brain could no longer keep up with the information charging through it. Nobody knew how to react to me anymore, not even Dr. Rhodes, though she tried.

I wasn't human but I wasn't one of them either. I'd seen from their point of view, and yet, I understood things they didn't. Things they never could.

"How do you feel being back to your usual self?"

"Is that a serious question?" I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

She smiled and my teeth clenched.

"The more that you're able to open up and talk about what happened to you, the easier this adjustment period is going to be for you."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I shrugged.

"How about we start off simple, hm?" She gave another small smile, a poor attempt at being friendly. It shouldn't have made me hate her but it did. "Why don't you talk me through what happened to you?" she asked. "Some of the things you remember?"

"You know what happened to me," I stated. "You've been told. You've even got it right in front of you." I gestured a pale hand to the papers that sat in her lap and the pen that hovered just a few centimetres above a lined notepad, poised and ready for anything that came out my mouth. I didn't see why she bothered, the room was already rigged with cameras, likely recording every meeting.

"I know how they found you, Em. You haven't spoken about anything before that... I don't know anything about you as a person."

I almost smirked. "The person before, or now?"

"You're still you, Em..."

I couldn't help but laugh and avert my gaze. "Are you serious?" I retorted, my eyes darkening. I shook my head at the woman who clearly understood nothing. "What do you know about the Transition?" I asked, already knowing her answer.

She perked up, trying to hide it as her eyes widened towards my sudden agreeance to offer her information. She stared back at me before she pulled her lips into her mouth.

"I know the science of it... How it attacks—"

"No," I interrupted before she said anything else. "The physical process. What goes on inside a person."

She shook her head.

Obviously not.

I diverted my attention to the room around us. It was too tidy for the surroundings, unrepresentative of the chaos it lay in. It was the only room in the compound that didn't have bright white fluorescent lights forced upon its interior. A soft, yellow glow filled this one but it did little to set a calming atmosphere. Even the security camera fixed to the top corner of the room was less unsettling than the wall-length window spread across the side of the office. I was certain it was a one-way mirror, and I could only wonder how many people were standing behind it, watching everything unfold.