What We Become | Book Two

35. That Night In Carnelian

The air was cold and it was difficult to process the events as they were happening.

Sometimes, I'd forget I had control of my own body again instead of waiting for something else to react first for me.

The small garden still remained untouched. I felt calmer there than I had the first time. It felt like the space was my own now. No one else ever came outside, especially now it was cold and the trees lay bare around the fence. I barely noticed the change in weather but I could feel the difference in my lungs when I breathed in. It was sharper and there was a chill that ran down my throat.

"I can't say this is what I had in mind," Chris said beside me, looking over to Julia and Donut who hung in the doorway to the building. 

I shrugged. "I'm not allowed to be left alone."

"Oh," he said. "I can't imagine why..." he almost laughed at his own joke.

I only stared back at him, my firm expression unmoving.

"How have you... uh... been?" he asked, lifting a hand to scratch his hair. I remember it being short but it was long now and flopped over as he pushed it back from his forehead.

I cocked my head, scowling. "How have I been?" I repeated. "After a full year, that's what you want to know?"

"I was easing into it."

I rolled my new blue eyes. "I know you hate me, Chris. Even more than you probably did before I was like this... What are you doing here?"

"Okay, first of all," he raised an index finger. "I never hated you. It was Ben I had the issue with when he came back, you just got wrapped up in it... Second of all," he raised a second finger. "That's a complicated question."

I flashed a smile. "I've got a lot of time."

He exhaled as he looked around the space. His stare landed on Julia who seemed distracted by something in the building behind her. She looked to me, giving an apologetic expression before she took off down the corridor, leaving only Donut to keep watch.

"What do you remember?" Chris asked, leaning forwards with his elbows rested against his knees.

"Everything from when I was Infected," I replied, not bothering to hide my cold tone as I was met with a pair of raised brows. "Not what you wanted to hear, right?"

"It's not what I was expecting..." he admitted. "What about before you were Infected? Do you not remember any of it?"

"I remember you shot me," I said, gesturing to my arm where the scar sat against my skin. It was a different type of scar than the ones I received during my time as an Infected. This one was more healed, more human.

He rolled his eyes but also looked impressed. "Out of everything, you still remember that?"

I shrugged.

He dropped his head to look at the grass, fighting a smile. "Seriously though, what do you remember?"

"It's all still hazy... They've been trying to get me to remember," I nodded to Donut who was trying to be discreet with his stare, pretending he was looking at something else. "I just can't. In my head, it's like there's a brick wall. Like I've only ever been an Infected."

"What about Carnelian?"

"When I saw your face the memories came back like they'd always been there but some parts are still hazy... You're not going to try and turn this into a therapy session, are you? Did Dr. Rhodes send you to try and talk to me?"

"What?" he scowled. "No. Who even is that?"

"She's my therapist," I told him. "And she's been trying to get me to open up and talk about what I remember. Just like you are."