Winning her back

22. Knocking on someone else's door

Lisa

Finding alternative accommodation in the middle of the night was definitely not what I had planned. I hailed a cab as soon as I left Ben's house, with no knowledge of what I was going to do or where I was going to go.

Ben's words kept replaying in my mind. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. There was no excuse to what he had done, he knew that. No amount of apologies, as sincere as they may have been, could ever erase the past.

Torvi was my family, my own flesh and blood. She was someone I trusted wholeheartedly. We understood each other, we both knew the struggles of living with Christian parents. We had the same nightmares and shared the same dreams.

I never thought we'd share the same man.

Ben was the first to come clean and reveal what had happened the night she stayed over. I remember feeling like the walls were caving in, and the ground below me collapsing slowly. I've never felt pain like I felt at that moment in time. He was supposed to be my partner, my best friend, my soulmate and my husband. And yet, he became my worst enemy overnight.

Torvi on the other hand, had avoided me for weeks.
She fled our house after sleeping with Ben, and completely disappeared. The only consolation I got from her was a text message, explaining how sorry she was and how I'd never see her again.

She hasn't spoken to me since. I never bothered to reply. The truth was, there were no words to describe the betrayal I felt. I made the decision to cut her out of my life that day. She was dead to me, just as my parents were.

My thoughts took me back to events which I tried to erase.

When my father found out me and Ben were moving to the city, he knew that he had lost me. I had tried to keep in touch, but he just couldn't accept the fact that I hadn't followed his path and put our church as a priority. Our relationship fizzled out, following my relationship with my mother. To her credit, she did the best she could to keep contact, but my father wouldn't allow it.

I was the 'disgraceful' child in their eyes. "A path without God is a lonely one", they would say.

Hell, they weren't wrong.

Back then, my relationship with Torvi, was complicated to say the least. Yes, we had a mutual disinterest in church and religion, but that was about it. We were complete opposites. She was always the outgoing one, whilst I was more on the quiet side. Being older, I had 'developed' quicker, causing me to gain more male attention. I hated attention. Torvi craved it.

I always knew that Torvi held a slight resentment towards me after I left. I had abandoned her after all. I knew that dad would probably pressure her to become his version of the 'ideal' child, something which I never was.

I guess I never imagined her resentment would end up ruining my marriage.

"Where we off to miss? You told me to drive to the village but didn't specify the address".

I focused back to the present and glanced at the taxi driver through the rear view mirror.

"42, Crosby Lane". I knew that address all too well.
It rolled off my tongue easily, even though it made me sick to my stomach.

I stared at the houses as we drove by, they all looked the same just as they did back then.

It wasn't long before we arrived to the dreaded destination. I paid the taxi driver and settled in front of the door. I took a deep breath and mentally prepared myself before knocking on the door in front of me.

An elderly woman emerged, clinging to her cardigan whilst tucking her white strands behind her ears.

"Lisa?"

"Hey mom".

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What would you say to your mother whom you haven't spoken to in four years? I had been preparing myself for this conversation throughout the entire car journey, but when she opened the door, the cat bit my tongue.

She looked older, much older than she really was.  I could see the bones of her cheeks bulging out, with sunken eyesockets. The person standing in front of me was barely recognizable.

"Mom, I". I couldn't articulate a full sentence. I wasn't expecting to be back here anytime soon and by the look on her face, neither was she.

"I -." I began again, only this time she cut me off by pulling me into her arms and engulfing me in her torso.

I couldn't help the tears that fell as I returned the gesture.

After all these years, I was finally back home.

We stood there for what seemed like a lifetime, crying and hugging each other. Soon after, we made our way inside. Everything looked the same, the stained couch, the dull colour walls, the picture frames ... it was like I never left.

We separated from each other and made our way to the couch.

"I don't even know where to begin. So much has happened mom".

She held my hands together and gave me a reassuring smile. "How about starting by telling me what brought you here".

And that's exactly what I did. I told her everything, what happened between me and Ben, the divorce and the rape incident. I was reluctant on telling her about Torvi, but I figured it would come up anyway.

"God, Lisa, my baby", she squeezed my hand. "Why didn't you come sooner?".

"I was scared", I began as I wiped a tear. "Scared you and dad wouldn't accept me back".

"Oh Lisa, you know that you and your sister", she paused. "Regardless of what she's done, are always welcome here".

I raised my eyebrows, curious to what she was implying. "Wait", I began. "Torvi hasn't come back".

She sighed and let go of my hand. "After her argument with your dad, she left and never came back. We haven't seen her for almost two years".

I sunk in the information, which meant that Torvi never returned home after the incident with Ben. I was curious at to where she wondered off too.

Torvi never graduated high school and bounced from job to job. There was absolutely no way she would have been able to financially live independently without help.

Just as my mind was about to explore all the possibilities, the hallway lit up.

"What's going on Belinda?", said a voice I knew all too well.

"Oh Frank, our daughter's come back. Lisa's finally back home".

I turned to face the person I'd been dreading to see.

"Hi dad".

He glanced between my mother and I before resting his gaze on me. One thing was for sure, he wasn't happy.

"Get out".

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