Winning her back

2. A new beginning

Ben

Waking up alone on a Sunday morning was something that I had gotton used to by now. It didn't matter if I brought a girl home with me or not, I would still wake up alone in bed. I never let them sleep over. I did my business with them, pleasured them and myself, and showed them the door as soon as I was done. I tried behaving like a gentleman for the most part, paying for their transfer back home and sometimes even sending them a text, to see if they arrived home safely, but nothing more than that. It wouldn't be fair on them to let them stay over, only to wake up with false hopes and expectations. That's why I made sure that they were unattached beforehand.

I knew that no amount of sex could fill in the void, but I did it anyway. How else was I going to waste my time? I contemplated moving somewhere out of the country, Europe maybe, it's not like I had anything to lose, I had already lost everything.
However, not even Europe could fix the mess I had caused.

I glanced over at my watch. It was twelve in the afternoon, and I was still in bed. There was a time not too long ago, where I used to be up by six, ready for my work out routine. It seemed like such a long time ago. Now, I only wake up that early when the hospital needs me to.

Dragging my feet out of the bed, I made my way downstairs to the kitchen. As expected, the kitchen was a mess. Maybe I should hire a maid? A maid, that will attend to the house, and to my needs.

I shook my head in disgust. Who had I become? I felt like a prisoner in my own body. I needed her, every second of every day I thought about her. I needed her both physically and emotionally.

Looking at my surroundings, I couldn't help feeling a sense of loss. The beach house was the only thing left to remind me of her. She took everything else. I couldn't bring myself to sell it. So many memories were made in this house. Good memories and of course, bad ones.

I snapped out of my thoughts and poured myself a drink. I was on call tonight, so I might aswell enjoy the morning. As I was about to take my first sip, the doorbell rang.

"Let yourself in, it's open", I said, resuming to drinking the liqour in my glass.

When I didn't hear a response, I became hopeful again. I thought it might be her. Maybe I'd get to see my angel again. My hopes vanished just as quickly as they appeared when I saw Liam approach, wearing his usual polo shirt and pants which were tighter than tights.

"Oh, it's you".

"Well, nice to see you too mate", he said,
flashing me his perfectly white teeth."Don't you think it's a little bit early for that", he said, eyeing the glass in my hands.

"It's never too early to drink". With that, I chucked down the liquor and refilled the glass.

"I'm still wrecked from yesterday". He said, leaning against the kitchen counter. "I need an Advil or two".

"Why are you here anyways?", I asked raising an eyebrow. I had seen Liam briefly the night before at the club. He was chatting up some girls and made me his wingman. It didn't take long for us to leave the club, each with a girl on our arms.

"I was thinking about organising a beach party. Nothing big, just a couple of people and obviously, lots of booze."

I raised both eyebrows and waited for him to continue.

"Maybe we can do it here? There's enough space, plus the beach is ten metres away."

"That sounds like a house party, not a beach party". I threw whatever was left in the glass into the sink before saying, "Let's do it".

He looked at me with confusion written all over his face. "That took less convincing than I thought it would".

"I could use a distraction". There was a moment of silence. I noticed Liam eyeing me suspiciously. He sighed before saying, "You still miss her".

I gave him a scowl. I had met Liam a couple of months ago at a bar. We were both hitting on the same girl, buying her drinks after drinks. She ended up playing us both when she put her ring back on and greeted her millionaire husband a while later. We both took it as a laugh and bought each other drinks instead. We've been friends ever since. He knew about Lisa. What he didn't know about, was the pain and anger that came with losing her.

"Lisa I mean", he continued when I didn't respond.

I chuckled at how daft he could be sometimes.

"Maybe it's time to let her go man", he started, "I know it's tough, but you can't keep living like this".

"I let her go when I signed the divorce papers".

"You mean, you physically let her go when you signed the divorce papers, but emotionally, you're still attached".

Of course I was still attached. I was with Lisa for five years. She was my light, my soulmate, my best friend and the love of my life. Now, she's not even my acquaintance. I wanted to scream those words to Liam, but it would be of no use. He wouldn't understand. He's never loved someone, he's never given his life to someone, he's never given his mind, body and soul to someone.

I turned away from him and reached out to grab a beer from the fridge. "Organise it for next Saturday", I said with my front still facing the fridge.

"What?"

"The house party". I turned around to a very confused Liam. "Let's do it on Saturday".

He nodded and finally dropped Lisa from the conversation. I guess he finally figured that she was not a topic to be brought up. She was already haunting my dreams. I didn't need her haunting my reality too.

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