Winning her back

35. Epilogue

Time

Time heals pain, time heals all wounds and leaves behind a scar. That's all I've heard for the past ten months. It was a repetitive and monotonous saying, but it was true.

If someone would have told me a few years ago what was to ensue, I might have just given up right there and then. But what is life without a few, or many hurdles. Hurdles, what a mild word to describe the load of sh*t that went on. But like Dr Rowland said, there was no use lingering on the pain of the past. The future was the only way forward.

Yes, that's right, I went back to Dr Rowland. She took me back even after my previous outburst regarding my living situation with Ben. She was also the only psychologist that reached out whilst I was in hospital. She helped me understand that what had happened to me wasn't my fault. The rape, Lydia's rage, my divorce .. I kept blaming myself for everything, and with blame came guilt. The guilt that maybe my best friend would still be alive if I wasn't in the picture.

I know now that there wasn't anything I could have done better to help Lisa. I've accepted it and now I had to live with it.

"Last one", Ben said as he sealed another cardboard box.

I smiled and looked at the pile of boxes standing in the hallway. In his hallway.

"Is that everything", he asked as he gazed in my direction.

"Looks like it", I said as I watched the movers stack up the boxes to put them in the van.

"Feels like deja-vu. You leaving I mean. Again".

"Yeah", I began. "Only this time, I'm not coming back".

He let out a long sigh and gave me a concerned look. "You sure you'll be ok? Manhatten is a long way from here".

"I'll be fine. In all honesty, I should have done this a long time ago".

Manhatten was the dream. It always was. Back when I was still in high school dreaming of a better life away from my family, Manhatten was always the placed I dreamed of. I dreamt of joining med school there and possibly getting an internship. But all that changed when I met Ben. I followed his dreams instead of mine.

"So, this is the real goodbye. I can't believe I'm never going to see you again".

"I'm sure our professions will cross paths someday. Besides, my niece is going to be living in this town, which means I'll definitely be visiting".

After finding out that Mason was his child, Tom asked Torvi to move in with him. It seemed like the most logical thing to do. And although she was hesitant at first, co-parenting with Tom was the right move. It made her life easier and Mason was over the moon to finally get to know his father. I wasn't sure about their relationship status though, but I could sense something brewing slowly.

"I should go," I said. "The movers are almost ready".

"So, I guess this is goodbye".

Ben. The only person I ever loved. Deep down, I always thought that we would find a way back to each other. Because that's what love was supposed to do. But I know now. Love isn't everything. It was only a fraction of what a relationship was supposed to be.

I could never trust Ben after what happened. Love without trust was a ticking time bomb. And I wasn't ready for another explotion.

"You know I'll always love you right", he said.

"I know".

I gave him one last smile before grabbing the last box and walking towards the front door.

I was finally leaving it all behind. The love, the pain, the heartbreak and the grief. And it couldn't have felt any better.

I took one last look at the house, and made my way to the car where Clark was eagerly waiting.

"You ready", he asked as I opened the passenger door.

"Yeah".

No, Clark wasn't coming with me. He was merely giving me a ride to the airport. Clark was the reason I was even given the opportunity. He put in a good word at one of Manhattan's research hospitals. Turns out Clark Reed's word was almost as powerful as God's. I got a call within a few hours of him working his magic.

As for our relationship, I wasn't ready for one. I also wasn't ready to give up another dream for a man. Kids. Clark understood and I know we'll always be good friends.

Besides, dating your boss is never a good idea.

As the cars drove by on our way, I wondered what life would be like on the other side. Would I be happier? Will I ever find love again? Maybe not. But I knew one thing for sure.

I was finally going to win my life back again.

A fresh start.
A new life.
New friends.

It was scary, but it was also the best feeling in the world.

____________________________________
And that's a wrap 🥲

Thank you for supporting Ben and Lisa's story. Your support means the world to me.