The Original Pogue- JJ Maybank

Chapter 27

TW: reference to the sexual assault that happened a few chapters back. 

"Something happened to me"

"Wh-what?" JJ stutters as he lets out a breath. His eyes are travelling all over my body as if he's trying to find some injury I'm hiding, but not all injuries are visible. All of my scars are on the inside. 

I take a deep breath, and blink the tears away, 

"I think I need to start at the beginning" I conclude, more to myself than to JJ.

"Sunshine, what's going on? You're scaring me baby" JJ says softly, but his voice comes out shaky as he starts to panic more and more. 

"Just sit down here and I'll explain everything" I tell him, gesturing to the step outside the door. 

He looks conflicted but does as I say anyway. I turn around and walk back into the room, very aware of his eyes on me. 

"You okay?" John B asks, concern lacing his eyes.

"Yeah" I reply, "I need to tell him." I conclude when he gives me a look of disbelief. 

He nods before saying, "do you want me to go?" 

"Could you keep packing?" I ask, pleading him with my eyes, "I don't want to run the risk of him turning up" 

"Of course" John B replies before going back to shoving my stuff into bags. I smile at him gratefully before walking over to my bedside table. I take a deep breath before opening the top draw. There I see the two notes, condoms and two flowers. I pick them up with shaky hands and take them outside to an awaiting JJ.

I sit down next to him, after closing the door behind me, and place my things on the side furthest away from him.

"Can I ask you one thing before I start?" I ask JJ, looking directly into his eyes. 

"Anything"

"Can you not say anything until I finish?" I ask, "Because if I stop, I don't know whether I'll be able to start again"

Instead of saying anything, he swallows and nods.

"Okay" I sigh, before looking straight ahead, "I guess it started the day after the party at the boneyard." I begin, "I had just gotten out the shower when the guy that India has been sleeping with, or partying with or whatever, came into the bathroom. He made a pass at me, I kneed him in the balls and that was that. I thought that'd be the end of it" 

I take a look over at JJ, who already looks pissed. Oh boy, that was the okay part. 

"But I was wrong. Skip to a couple nights later, I came home to see him sat on my bed. Again, he tried to..." I trail off as I focus on keeping my tears at bay, " um, he tried to encourage me to 'do stuff', you could say. He um, pinned me to the wall and tried to kiss me and stuff but luckily my Aunt came in and stopped him." 

I look down at my lap and start playing with my fingers. Out of the corner of my eye I can see JJ's hands clenched shut in his lap with one leg bouncing up and down. I know he's angry but I'm so happy he's keeping his word and not asking any questions. I clear my throat before continuing, 

"A few days later, I come home to find this on my bed" I reach down and grab the first note and the condoms, handing them to JJ.

He lifts his head and looks at me before taking the paper and reading it. That one look he gave me told me everything. He's angry. He's absolutely livid but he's also worried, sad and sympathetic. 

His hands clench harder around the paper, so I move forward to grab them. He immediately relaxed his hands under my touch, and allowed me to remove the paper from his grasp.