Endurance :: divergent

Chapter 8 :: Tobias?

I wake up with a massive headache. Hopefully it'll just blow over soon. I already have a lot on my mind. And Four last night. I don't know how I feel about this. Is it wrong? Is it... right? No, it's not right. He's my instrcutor. But, once I'm done with the initiations I guess I'll be an 'adult'.

Lately James and Liz have been hanging out. I'm not jealous, no of course not. If anything I want them to date already. But I don't want to third wheel.

My usual routine. Usual clothing.

"Today we're going to refresh your physical skills, so we'll be fighting each other, throwing knives, and shooting guns," Eric states unenthusiastically, "after that we'll be facung our fears once again."

"First pair, Maddy and Alex," Four reads off the list that's in his hand. Seriously? Again? Eric clearly picked theses groups. Does he want me dead? Of course he does.

I step up the ring. I fix my posture like Four told me. I hold my two fists out in front of me. I'm not going to enjoy this.

Eric says to begin whenever. He wants my death as soon as he can get it.

She's the first one to throw a punch; of course.

She hits my jaw and narrows her eyes at me. Eager to get this fight done, I shove my knee in her stomach and punch her arm. I just want to hit something.

With all of her force, she punches my nose. I twirl slightly and fall down, I see blood pouring out on the ring and Four walks away. I see Eric with a huge grin on his face.

I don't want Eric to be happy. I grab Maddy's leg and her down with me. I stand up as fast as I can, even though my nose hurts so... much.

I kick her side, she makes a grunting noise. I cringe at the sound. To finish her off, I kick her face.

I remember how all of the little kids would threaten to kick another's face, but would never have the courage to actually do it. Well, I got to kick her face. Maddy's face. Eric's next.

Eric doesn't want to admit that I won. So he doesn't say anything. But everyone knows I'm the winner, so Liz and James cheer. Eddie helps me down off of the ring, even though it's just a little step.

"I'm going to go find Four," I whisper to him. He slightly nods and lets me walk away.

I feel my body limp. I'm weak. My nose is still throbbing.

"Four?" I whisper-shout.

I see him in the same white room he brought me into a week ago.

"Four," I say relieved. Why was I trying to find him? I don't even know. I guess I just felt safe with him. Not just because he's strong. I know Eric's strong, but I don't feel safe with him.

He doesn't say anything, he just looks at me.

"Why did you walk away?" I furrow my eyebrows and take a seat in a chair. He's just pacing back and fourth.

"I didn't need to see anymore," he plainly says. Is he caring for me? I mean yeah he helped me when I was hurting, even though I am now, but he doesn't want to see me hurt? God, I'm so confused.

"I don't mean to be needy, but will you..." I drift off. He quickly grabs a paper-towel and soaks it in water. He kneels in front of me and wipes away the blood underneath my nose.

"Ouch," I say when he presses too hard.

"Sorry," he apologizes. I smile to myself. Did he just apologize? I've never heard him apologize.

"It hurts, Four," I love saying his name aloud. It's not his real name, but I just like it. I wonder why he decided the name Four.

"I know," he sighs.