Endurance :: divergent

Chapter fourteen :: the party

I run back to the rocky wall I was leaning against previously. Tears spilling out of my eyes. I bury my face in my hands and just cry. I'm going to have to tell Liz and James. How? How will I break it to them?

I look up and try to collect myself. 

"Alex?" I hear Liz ask from behind me.

"Y-Yeah?" I wipe away the last of my tears. There's no use in trying to hide them. He's gone and my face is probably all blotchy. 

"What's going on?" James asks. They're really close and I think James is going to ask her out, but I'm not totally sure. 

"They," I take a deep breath, "they found a body at the bottom of the chasm."

Both of their eyes grow wide.

"Who was it?" Liz asks. I open my mouth, but close it immidiatly. I can't say it.

"Liz.." I try to comfort her. 

"Who was it?" She asks harsher.

I give a sympathetic look to the both of them, "Eddie."

Liz's mouth falls open. Tears roll down her cheeks.

She kneels on the ground, James is beside her trying to comfort her. The sight of Liz crying makes me want to cry, but I can't stay here. I have to go.

James' hands rubs her back, "Shh," he says quietly.

"I-I'm sorry...I-I have to go," I say and start walking away. I hear Liz's sobs becoming louder and louder, but I have to keep on moving.

She's going to hate me for this.

I soon find myself in a dark hallway.

"Hey," some guy shouts from behind me. I turn around to see him pointing a gun at me.

"Who are you? What are you going back here?" he asks. More like shouts.

"I-I'm Alex. One of the initiates-" I get cut off.

"She's with me," I turn to my left and see Four.

He puts his gun down, "Sorry. Carry on," were his last words before he walks off.

"Why are you back here?" Four stands in front of me.

"I couldn't bare be in the chasm anymore. So I started walking until I was ready to head back. I wasn't aware I wasn't allowed back here," I shrug. 

He nods once, clearly not caring. He probably just asked that because he's my instructor. He's forced to ask that question. 

"C'mon. I'll take you back to my place," he starts walking. I follow him. 

It's silent the whole time until I find something to say, "How did you know I was back here?" I cross my arms in front of my chest. 

"I saw you ditch your friends and walk back here," he says. I can feel him smirking hence he said "ditch your friends".

"Excuse me, but I did not ditch them. I couldn't be there. I just had to freaking identify the body, who turned out to be my best friend thank you very much," I snap.

He turns his head to face me, but as soon as we make eye contact he turns away. I roll my eyes. 

We soon find ourselves in his apartment. 

"The party is tonight. To celebrate his bravery," he sits next to me on his couch.

I hum in response. I don't really want to talk about it. I just... he's gone. I turn my head and stare at Four. He was shut down to everyone. Tried to avoid everyone, but then he opened up to me. He told me his past, but now he's closed. He won't open up to me anymore. 

"You know it's alright to open up to people," I say blankly and turn away.

"I don't understand."

"You're this... big, intimidating guy, but I know there's someone inside who's a big softy. Want to know how I know? Because you've open up to me before, but you shut your doors because you're afraid that you'll get hurt."

That's it. He doesn't want to be hurt. He's fallin in love before, but he was hurt. 

"I won't hurt you," I say. A tear slips from my eyes. 

"I've fallin in love before, but I was hurt. I was hurt. Rose... she... she hurt me. She was my first love. I fell for her in Abnegation, but we got seperated. I went to Dauntless, she went to Amity. I used to work at the fence, but I quit after I saw her kiss another guy. Yes, we were broken up by then, but it hurt. That was supposed to be us. So I became a leader and I watch the security cameras. I'm over her now, but it hurt."

I nod, "I'm sorry."

He turns to me, "Shh, don't be sorry. It's okay." 

He looks at me and slowly connects our lips. It's not rushed, but it's passionate. Even better than the first time. It's like I'm falling for him all over again. We seperate, and I give him a small smile. 

"C'mon, lets go to the pit. They're going to celebrate Eddie soon."

We get up. I'm just in basic Dauntless clothing.

Everyone is in the pit, cheering is heard, but is soon come to a stop, "Listen," Max calls out, "Eddie was a brave boy. Unfortunetly we lost him, but he is on to a new adventure and is exploring a new world. To Eddie," he shouts and holds up a cup. 

Everyone cheers and holds up their cups. Music can be heard in the background, and people are drinking and having fun. 

I find Liz and apologize. She was so understanding, which made me feel even worse. 

I didn't have much fun at the party, but Zeke came over and invited a lot of people to his place after. 

Zeke is a Dauntless born, but we became friends. 

Liz, James, Zeke, and I walk into his apartment. There are already a lot of people here. Mostly Dauntless born people, but there was also Eric, Four, and Heidi. 

::

I've been here for an hour, and I'm completely wasted. 

"Lets play 'Never Have I Ever'?" Heidi suggests

"Everyone who wants to play, form a circle," Zeke sits down in the middle of his living room. 

I sit down next to Zeke. There's about nine people playing; Heidi, Zeke, James, Dale, Mel, Zach, Luke,   Ebonie, and me. 

Mel explains, "Basically how you play is one person will say something that they've never done, but if you've done it you take a drink."

She looks around to make sure everyone understands, "Okay, I'll start. Never have I ever had sex drunk," she smirks. 

Zeke, Dale, and Ebonie drink. 

Heidi goes next, "Never have I ever had something physical with another leader."

I look around and everyone else at the party is watching, even Four. 

I pick up my drink and take a swig. 

"Who?" Mel asks. 

"That's not part of the game. Okay, never have I ever had shower sex."

I look around, about five people drink before Ebonie announces, "That's on my to do list."

I throw my head back in laughter, as does a few other people. 

"What?" Eric questions. 

"I want to have shower sex before I die," she shrugs. 

He chuckles, but goes back to drinking. 

I get up to use the restroom, but am stopped by Eric. He whispers in my ear, "Come to my place after this," he winks. I smirk as if I would do it, but I won't. He'll take me at my most vulnerable time and use me. Disgusting. I don't even like Eric, and he doesn't like me.

The night soon comes to an end, and Four takes me to his place. I laugh uncontrolably about the whole time. Once we get there, all laughter dies down. 

"Four," I take a deep breath, "I have to tell you something."