after this night (camren)

29. Lauren

"You will have that. I will give you everything, Camila"

......

Camila skipped down the sidewalk at two in the morning. Every move she made brought a smile to my face and touched down with happiness in my heart. 

She'd done it. She'd won big. After precariously losing a few to Lucy for a while there, she'd made a few big bets on a few big hands, and pulled out ahead. She'd wrapped her arms around the chips and tugged them in tight. She sure looked like she wanted to kiss them, to bring each and every one to her lips, and then shake them at the sky victoriously. Instead, she'd stacked them, handed them to Vero since she'd acted as the bank, and watched with wide eyes as those chips turned into cash.

She threw her head back, twirling on the street, as if she were a kid catching snowflakes on her tongue.

"And here's your money, sir" she sand, pretending to hand it over to Austin, "now, go fuck off forever"

She was jubilant, ready to lead a victory march. I grabbed her arm and pulled her in for a kiss, bending her back and kissing her like we were on a postcard. Let the whole damn city be jealous. Let the world want what I had. I claimed her mouth with my own, kissing her hard and passionately, like I planned to always. I'd never tire of the way her lips tasted, of her sweetness, of how she responded to me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and held on tight.

"Take me home, now" she said, "I want to know as a free woman what it feels like to have you"

I tensed briefly as she said that. But that was ridiculous. She was free. Completely free. I hailed a cab, and ten minutes later I had her in my home, stripping her clothes off as we somehow made our way up the stairs, tangled up in each other. I was still buzzed on the night, on the things I'd said, on the way she'd won, on her sheer and utter happiness, and on telling her I loved her.

It didn't matter that one of those things was a lie.

There would be time in the morning to tell the truth. When day broke, and the sun rose, that's when I'd let her know. The night was for more.

"Did I ever tell you I have a thing for mirrors?" I sad as I left my clothes in a heap on the floor.

She raised an eyebrow, as she stepped out of her skirt, "Then join me in the bathroom, gorgeous" she said, taking my hand and guiding me to the spacious room. She hopped up on the sink with the mirror behind us, roped her arms around my neck, and pulled me in close. Resting her forehead against mine, she ran her hands down my naked chest, making me shiver with desire, "Thank you, Lauren" she whispered, "Thank you for doing that for me. I can't tell you how much it means to be free of Austin, and free of Shawn on my own terms. And I loved it. I loved playing for real. Playing in a game that wasn't fake. Where I had to rely on chance and skill myself" she said, and her words were like a tight knot in my gut. But I let her continue, "it means so much to me. You mean so much to me. I am so glad you walked into my bar, and into my life, and into my heart"

I kissed her softly, brushing my lips against hers. At least this part was true. This contact. This touch, "That's the only place I want to be. In you heart" I said, then took a beat, "Though I like being in your pants too"

She laughed, "Then get in my pants. Except I'm not wearing any" she said, gesturing to her naked body, covered only in the stockings I'd brought for her, "So this ought to be really easy"

I shoved everything else aside, clearing my mind. I wanted to be with her completely, "Nothing worth having is easy" I said, lifting her off the counter and setting her down on the tiled floor. I shifted around her so she faced the mirror above the vanity, then spoke low in her ear, "I want to watch us. I want you to watch us"

She gasped a yes as I dipped a hand between her legs, running my other hand up her belly. I entered her slowly, rolling my hips, savouring the delicious wetness, the tightness. Her eyes floated closed as I rocked into her, "Look in the mirror" I told her, and she opened her eyes, meeting mine in the reflection. There was so much want in her gaze, so much openness, "Watch"

"I am" she said, breathing in, breathing out, "I am watching"

"What do we look like to you?"

Her eyes were hazy, her lips falling open.

"Like two people in love" she answered.

I nodded against her neck, "Exactly. That's what we are. And I'm going to take you there, Camila. I'm going to take you over the edge. Because I love fucking you, and I fucking love you" I said, tugging her tighter, holding her closer as I thrust into her. She stretched out her neck, leaning against my shoulder, her body becoming a canvas for my hands as I touched her breasts, her belly, her neck, and her throat. I wrapped one hand around her throat, not so tight that it hurt, but tight enough to let her know she was mine. I was possessing her.

I love watching her face contort in pleasure, feeling her body tighten on me, feeling her heat all over me as the sound of her ecstasy rang in my ears and I followed her there, chasing her to the other side.

I breathed out hard, and so did she as I wrapped my arms around her when we were done.

"Camila" I started, and I should have been nervous or scared, but I wasn't. Not one bit. I knew what I wanted, "I hate the thought of you going home tomorrow afternoon"

"Me too, but I have too"

"I know, but what if you come back, and this bathroom becomes out bathroom? And the bedroom becomes our bedroom? And this home becomes our home? I can't stand being without you. I want you here in California"

I searched her features, but her expression gave nothing away. Her mouth was set in a line; her eyes were stoic. I tried to read her, to understand what was going through her mind, but I came up empty. and that's when the real fear shot off inside me. Had I scared her away? Asked for too much from a woman who needed to live life on her terms? I opened my mouth to backpedal, to say I'd take what I could get, because a little of her was better than losing her.

But the she turned around, face to face, "I could give you some long answer about how that's too hard or too complicated, and how I don't know how to pull it off or make it work, and how I have a job and a family and a business in Miami, and that's all true. . ." she said, then stopped talking, and in that silence my heart thumped hard against my chest, and I swore she could hear every heartbeat of my dear, could tell that each persistent pound was the sound-track of my misery, of her leaving me.

"And?" I asked, my throat dry.

"And" she answered, the corner of her lips curving up, "and if you're willing to work with me and help me figure all that out, then I can't give you a single reason why this shouldn't be my bathroom, because I love your tub" she said, pointing at the tub, and a smile broke across my face. She leaned back and tapped the mirror, "And I love this mirror" She gestured to the bedroom, "And your bed"

"Our bed" I said, correcting her.

"Our bed. I love our bed. Now, take me to bed, gorgeous. Because I want to sleep in my home. Tomorrow we can figure out all the details"

Yes, tomorrow. There were so many details for tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i just got home and hour ago and started writing right away (:

its my first day back to school tmo, i cba, i dont want to gooo