What could have been.

- Chapter 31-

Cole has taken us to a hotdog stand, situated by the front entrance of a small park. The owner of Bill’s hotdogs is a tall middle-aged long red-haired hippie named Bill. He requests what toppings we’d like; I go for a plain hotdog while Cole asks for chilli on his. 

“What?” Cole returns a questioning look. “I like Spicy food.” He says as he proceeds to pour half the bottle of hot sauce on his hot dog which already has chilli peppers on. 

“That’s not spice, that’s a 3rd-degree burn to your insides.” 

Cole raises his free hand to his chest to act as if my words have hurt him. Then he straightens up. Watching as I add mustard to my hot dog that already has ketchup on. “You don’t get to judge. You voluntarily put mustard on your hot dog.” Cole points to my delicious classic hot dog as I’m about to bite into it.

“Because mustard is a household name, in condiments,” I say through a mouth full. He leans in to wipe away what I can assume is a mixture of the sauces from the corner of my mouth. 

“Everyone with taste buds would disagree.” 

“Well after your cooking, they probably won’t have any. It will be too badly desecrated from your version of spice.” I say teasingly.

“If you're hinting that you want me to cook for you just come out with it, Sienna,” Cole replies bluntly. Now I respond dramatically, putting my hand on my hip. 

“Far from what my point was, Cole.” He doesn’t say anything in response. I watch on as he nods and smirks before taking a bite of his hotdog. “But I think I'd prefer if you ever do cook for me that we eat outside an emergency room. Just to be on the safe side.” I add. 

“Fine. I'll do us a picnic, Sienna.” 

“Again. Far from what my point was.”

“It’s agreed then, I'll cook and we'll go for a picnic. Happy now?”

“You're annoying. Must be you trying to hide that big’ol crush you have for me.”

“No hiding.”

Taking my hand in his we find a free bench in the park, opposite a colourful playground.  The laughter of those around us, children playing, friends gossiping or couples reminiscing sends a warmth through me. I always thought the sound of laughter, regardless of if it’s my own or someone I care about,  can bring a moment of happiness. A moment of sanity if you will. Sadly, that all changed when I began to realise when on campus or lecture halls that the laughter that started to surround me were malicious and done mockingly toward me, causing my paranoia around others to be awakened.

But today, I don’t feel that way at all. I feel, ok. surprisingly enough, I feel content.

Cole and I stay talking at the park once we’ve finished eating, rotating our bodies so were positioned facing each other on the bench. I now know that he works as a mechanic at Jeffery’s family's garage. He completed a two-year associate programme here in San Fransico and graduated in Automotive Technology. Cole lives with Jeffery, Liam and Jeffery’s older brother Jonah who is twenty-two so only a year older than Cole and Liam but two years older than Jeffery. 

He’s from a small secluded town that’s practically in the mountains about an hour and a half drive out of San Francisco. 

He hates bullshitters. 

Knows how to play the drums. He taught himself as a kid then took a few lessons while in high school. 

Broke his elbow when he was twelve from falling off his bike.