Deviant

eighteen

~Past~

A cold shiver ran down my spine the moment I stopped in front of Jungkook's cell.
He was there, laying on the floor, unconscious.

I barely managed to unlock the door with shaky hands and I ran towards him. Placing my hands under his sweaty and feverish body, I pulled him in my arms and moved his head to my knees.
"Jungkook please."

He was barely breathing. Placing my fingers on the side of his neck, I barely felt his pulse and quickly I pulled my phone out and called the ambulance.
I was sure he just had a panic attack and lost his consciousness straight after.

"You will be alright. Everything will be alright. I am here with you after all. You are not alone anymore in this frightening place. I will take care of you. Do you hear me?" I whispered to him as I brushed his bangs away from his sweaty forehead and kissed the top of his head. "I will fix you... somehow."

"You can't be serious. Something more disgusting than this can't possibly exist." A voice near startled me, and when I looked up, Taehyung and Jimin were there looking down at us.

"You can't be this cruel," I said to Taehyung, my eyes burning with rage as we glared at each other.
"I know that what he did to you was wrong, but it would be better if you will shut up right now."

"What the fuck do you even see in this garbage? He isn't even normal. He is just a fucking freak and a pain for society."

"Taehyung stop. It isn't the moment." Jimin hissed, stopping Taehyung from coming closer to me and Jungkook.

His words hurt. And I felt like crying as I was watching Jungkook breathing hard in my arms.
"Jungkook, the ambulance will come in a minute now. Just try to breathe. Please try... for me." My voice broke. While caressing his cheek gently, I couldn't take my eyes off his closed eyes.

Flashback

"Daddy is home. Did you miss daddy?"

Hearing the door of my bedroom opening, I hide in the closet. I am scared. I am so scared of him.

Please... Someone.

"Come on Jungkookie, let's play. Mommy isn't home so no one will disturb us. "

He is drunk.
I can tell by the way he is talking. His words are incoherent. I could barely understand him.

Wrapping my arms protective around my trembling body, I am waiting for him to find me. He always does find me. I have no escape.

I am crying as he grabs me.

But he doesn't hear me.
He doesn't care. He cares only to satisfy his sick mind by forcing me to do something I never felt like doing. Something that disgusts me.

"Mom, please help me."

But she doesn't hear me. She doesn't care.
I know, I am aware that I have no escape.
I give up.

Closing my eyes tightly I am trying to disconnect myself from reality.
I am trying so hard to not feel anything. I am screaming in my head that nothing is real. That what was happening to me, that what is happening continuously... it isn't real.

I couldn't fight. My mind suddenly becomes foggy and I feel like I am losing my consciousness.

Mommy... Mommy... Why don't you help me? Why don't you love me? I am not your child anymore?

I want to get up... but I can't.
Hearing the door closing, I try again to move my aching body, but I can't. Then I hear my mom downstairs. They are laughing. She is laughing as my dad is telling her stupid jokes.

She doesn't come to see me. She doesn't care. And I am here crying and waiting for her to hold me in her arms and protect me. But she doesn't come.

She doesn't care.

She doesn't believe me.

She hates me.

End of flashback

"Jungkook open your eyes. Please. "

"I am here with you. "

No... Is no one there for me. It's only my stupid mind playing tricks on me once again.

I hate my mind.

But please, if indeed is someone there... Please get me out of this.
Please help me.

Opening my eyes slowly, I saw you holding my hand tightly in yours. It was something foreign. I couldn't get used to it. But you were crying. You were smiling at me but crying at the same time.

I would do anything.

I tried to speak but nothing came out. Those feelings which assaulted my insides all at once were overwhelming. I felt despair, frustration, hate, fear. And I couldn't understand why. And from where those feelings came.

I tried to speak again.

"I will love you.
I will do anything you want.
I will be only yours.
I will be your slave as long as I live.
But please, please take me out of here. Before losing myself completely."