The Daughter I never knew

Haunting Her

' What you have given me, I shall return. '

' It's good to hear - It's haunting you' Kera giggled. I couldn't understand a thing. Why is she laughing? Is she enjoying seeing someone suffering?

Stop it! Kera!  I can't understand what you will get by doing this?

I'm giving you back the memories you have given me! -- PAPA!

How are you doing this? All this going back to past and forth then phasing it! how!!! I was frustrated. Frustrated with this game. How long I have to be in loops and dreams of someone who is gone. Why should I understand her when she is already gone? 

PAPA! Kera smiled and looked at me titling her head 'Just dreaming' she answered, and I woke up again. I looked around and I was back to my house. Suddenly I'm confused what's the reality and what's the dream that Kera is making. 

My son came and slept beside me, and I wondered if she is haunting everyone. We did few of our Indian Rituals to calm to the soul that was haunting us. What was her desire? asked the Pandit 

We-we don't know!!!

That's why the soul is wandering! she hasn't left, she is alive in your memories and dreams!

My son might be small at his age, but he knew that His sister is gone. He was acting strange after what Pandit has said. What happened? I asked him after the worship of Lord Shiva and other Hindu god and goddesses. 

I think she is alive!

What?

She is alive in everyone's dream papa! which means she won't die that easily!

I couldn't understand his words now I could think of how a kid like this would understand a word we are living in. Jack came in with his frown face as he saw the flowers over Kera's picture. He sat down on ground and prayed for a while with others. I never knew Kera knew so many guys than girls but they were all well respected people, except Jack and Ruby and few people whom I think were close to Kera. 

Oh, right Pandit ji! She is surely alive in everyone's memories and DREAMS said Jack looking at me, I thought he is provoking me but then I thought He is saying this because he knows something. 

Dreams! Dreams! Dreams just what about it! is so special? It's a useless thing that only fools have, people who doesn't know what their lives hold have dreams. People whose thoughts aren't sorted have dreams. I don't dream but after her death whatever I'm experiencing it's not normal. It's connected to it! 

I have always thought that only people who doesn't have any aim in their life dreams and Kera was one of them, in a useless fantasy of unconscious mind. I held Jack's arm and asked him what kind of tricks are you playing?

Me?!! I'm a good kid Mr. Munish and you are the bad guy here! a piece of advice!

1.Follow the dream

2. Don't ever drag me! 

Jack's eyes changed; how can a kid have this kind of anger? to an adult like me!!! I'm much older than him. In mid of our conversation I felt a sharp pain in my arms which loosen up my grip to Jacks arm. 

See that's what happens! He smirked as if there is an unknown force or power with him. How can this be possible I thought, and he simply walked away with his carefree attitude which I couldn't stand at all. 

You never knew Kera had these guy friends? and other who are full of shit!!! I screamed at my wife. How couldn't she know about her own daughter when they live in the same house? I'm busy with everything around the world and time, she is here at the house and yet she doesn't know what her daughter is up too. 

It suddenly strickled me 'I also live here! then how could I never know?' 

I have always treated her invisible, I guess. Why is she haunting me like this but more importantly How? 

I really wouldn't have cared to find out about someone who is gone but her, coming every night for the nightmare of endless loops makes me really tired in morning and makes me hard to work. I blamed my wife for not knowing anything about Kera. Like her mom Kera has been keeping many secrets of guys and what not!!

My eyes got tired as I was watching a movie when suddenly I felt I saw something. Something beside me and yet I couldn't figure out what, it was a human figure. K-kera? I said and it moved away vanishing. What trouble I will see today! I scoffed and dozed accidentally.

A plain dark place with few crystals floating, It was memories of mine I knew as it played.  I touched one of the memory cores and got back to days where Kera was learning how to ride a bicycle.

You are again paddling backwards, I laughed telling her. One thing I had always noticed of Kera whether she is cycling or skating; every time she falls or get hurt, she stands up again and continue to her playful energy with her wind.  

Kera had never given up on skating I thought but looked at other side of the memory core which was surely not mine. It was Kera's memory where she was looking at her skates, all zoned out and put it under the bed. 

The memory played again and again until I walked into it; Because I knew I'm the one who can end the nightmare. Why aren't you skating? I asked and noticed the skates weren't the one I brought. It was the one her friend gifted her. 

It's been five years since I last skated and now 'I don't feel the wind.' 

What that supposed to mean? I asked and suddenly remembered how she had described her feelings for skate in one of her notes. 

' To the kid who once loved the feeling of wind while skating.

Because it always made her easy to run away...

Easy to feel the freedom.'

What! Why? I asked because even if skate would break or anything, she would still skate on it. She never ever had stop then why she is saying five years? Five years!! Without skating? 

Because of you! She answered and looked at me and I felt a strangle so hard as If this is really not the dream land.

 You bitch! leave me alone!!!

Oh dad! Forget your pain for now and listen mine! You and your mom fight just caught me in such a disaster. Everyone talks about how bad your relationship is with each other and I was cornered from the start! I got all alone locked myself up the places I thought wouldn't get you to me, but you and your mom screaming!!

Kera! it's hurting!

Oh! It does? That's bad! I forgot to tell you aren't safe in dreams! because everyone can feel pain in here but forgetting yours!

--Let me continue!

Kera!!! Stop! I started to lose my breath in real. I looked at the knife near her bed where she was sitting and sliced my own neck. 

I woke up! taking all the air I could. I was huffing loudly when I again noticed something in my room. You!!!

It again vanished! What am I seeing? What is going on with me? Have I become crazy? Was it a punishment of God as I didn't grieve at someone's death? 

How did he spot me? said Kera leaving her father's room.