The Daughter I never knew

Forgive the Sin

I used to think my day were getting worse because of her torturing but after talking to Glance I realized that it was the so-called torturing but the deep realization how terrible I had been to people around me. My daughter has a mirror reflection of me which I didn't liked and it got it soo far that she couldn't herself.

I talked to Glance and thought at least he is the only person in her life who feels no problem to me. I don't know why they broke up but the way he is present even after her death, gives me a significance of good people in her life when I wasn't there. 

I forced myself to sleep but I couldn't sleep in that easily. All I could think was the world Glance had made by theories and Kera who had lived in it. It was all beyond my thinking, I knew meditation plains, taking you somewhere because I was a yoga trainer myself, but I never enter any state so impressive than a depressed teenager like my daughter.

 She did have mentioned many things as if asking for if soul can leave the body and come back without getting lost in their way. I knew some answers and sometimes not, all I could tell her was the theories I had heard from people but never met someone like these until now. 

Sleep damn it!!! 

I couldn't sleep nor I could think anything just me and my daughter memories when she was little, only the memories when she was little but what about when she was growing up? All I could think of was growing apart, more and more. AT first, I didn't even notice when the three of us became four and when this home became house and then house became a place where people stay forcefully under the name of family and reputation. All I could hope now was that I don't do same to my son.

Everything ever Kera done, I think of my son knowing she want to save him from us. 

My eyes closed suddenly but rather than entering a dream or loop, I entered a void again. Dream void I thought and knew Kera had mention this in her story, not only her Glance also did.

K-kera?  

How are you here? How did you enter asked Kera to me

She didn't DID THIS??? 

I did! said Glance and both; me and Kera were surprised

What's going on here?!!! I was all confused. Did he? How did he? came IN HERE? As in this plain? Are there more than there two who can enter a plain like this?

 G-glance? said Kera and her eyes soften, an expression I had never saw on her face. I can't describe it, but she was happy, glad, in sorrow; everything yet nothing. Kera? I have read your letters; I know what you want! 

All I want is to be free! Glance! so why did you brought him here? I this plain?

Kera, Listen! I know why you did this! but you have to end it. here!

I also want it to end Glance! I also want to escape this world and walk through the next and yet something in here is pulling me again and again!

Glance looked at me saying I know what's keeping you here. Glance came to me smiling he said 'You people are keeping her here.' 

What?

Your guilt, fear, the tears you didn't had, everything!!!

Wh-what! No! I am not keeping her here! I didn't want a daughter at the first place, I didn't want a daughter who would never follow my footsteps, a daughter who only listen to herself then why are you saying WE are the ones keeping her here? In this curse plain to curse ourselves with loops and unwanted memories?

Sir!!! don't do that!

Do what?

LIE TO YOURSELF! I know your mind and I know you have been having all the alternates in your life you cut off the things which made you feel pathetic and helpless. You call it people with no aim, but I call them liars. We, at the end are falling in the same world, full of people's expectations and misery! Please don't do that!! you know what I mean!

Glance! said Kera in mid and started to taunt that I would never understand these kinds of human expressions because I'm a monster. She continued her babbles and memories loop in front of my eyes, letting me see all those memories where she felt alone and the adult she used to think as her idol and hero was all a monster in the end. 

So you!!! I said in her mid 

What?

You are also a monster!!! Kera!!! you would never listen to me! nor obey! you were always in your fantasies blaming us for it because the world we created in front of your eyes were all just pain! but you were also there! you are the monster who couldn't speak of herself! 

I - I

Shut it! you were the monster who just dreamed of being a normal human but the truth was, you made yourself like this!

Wow! you are blaming me again! she laughed and looked at Glance, she didn't say anything, but her eyes did told Glance that what he was thinking? that parents like me will understand their child? when all their lives they have been so distant. Parents like me will understand emotions? and be part of their child's life? worthless!! all worthless!!! but you know what- 

You are the daughter I never wanted! 

I know! and you are the father I never wanted!! I wanted someone to be there!! THERE! IN THE HOME NOT HOUSE! HOME DAD! you weren't there though! you yourself burned down the home of mine, a home for this little child who has been more mature than her age!

Being mature is good!!!

No! I didn't want to be mature! I wanted to be a kid, who didn't had clue about world, who believed in Peter pan stories. I wanted to be mature at right time as other kids, I didn't want to be how I'm right now! because everyone in the world thinks I'm mature, all grown up, so early to know everything but no! I don't like this mature version of mine because this version feels hard to connect with people, hard to be brave, hard to be ALIVE DAD!

Alive! huh! wow! you truly took after me! he smiled and felt something; the water drops through my eyes. I wasn't crying I knew but my soul did. My soul unlocked the parts of me which has been suppressed from a long time. She really did take after me I thought, it's true that if your first child is daughter, she is going to take after her father.  

She was like me, a rebellion, a monster, a writer in her own world yet we got divided because as she took after me, she didn't take the oath opened to her like me but creating her own. 

K-Kera! I said her name, in a voice I never heard before. I have never heard this voice of myself. 

K-era! 

I couldn't say anything else, all I could say was-

I'm proud of you!