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"Like rainbows after rain, joy will reveal itself after sorrow"
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I get off the elevator and walk the hallway I've become all too familiar with this week. I hate that the stark white walls, faint beeping noises, and overall miserable atmosphere of the hospital have become my new normal.
I ran out to the store this morning to pick up some food for myself and the rest of the group because hospital food is not something you want to be living on. And when you're eating it as much as I have been, it's mandatory to give yourself a small break.
I'm not the only one spending lots of time in this hospital, but I'm definitely here the most. Based on the glances of pity and concern I think it's worrying everyone, but I don't really care what they think. I can't get myself to leave her side.
I've tried. I've tried multiple times to go home, but every time I do, I get to my car and sit in the seat for maybe five seconds before I'm walking straight back to her room. The only times I successfully make it there without turning around is to take a quick shower and change, but the second I'm done, it's right back to her.
Just as I'm about to turn the corner, I get a text from Jemma.
"Sterling forget about the food, get here now! She's awake."
I stop in my tracks and reread the text.
Laney is awake.
Suddenly, my body takes me away from her room and walks towards the exit of the hospital.
It's not a completely conscious decision and I haven't figured out why I'm walking away until I'm sitting in the driver's seat of my car.
I don't feel like I deserve to see her right now. If the doctors were right and her memory isn't affected, her last memory is of me breaking her heart. She must already be insanely stressed out right now, learning that she was in a serious car wreck and fell into a coma for a week, the last thing she needs is to see me.
I won't do that to her family and our friends either. They deserve to see her and hug her without tension filling the room from my presence.
I'm honestly not sure if everyone knows what happened that night. Jemma is the only one I told about the breakup and while I never said it had to be kept a secret, I don't think she thought to share that information with anyone else.
If she did, however, no one brought it up to me. But nevertheless, they'd see something was wrong the second she sees me and her face inevitably drops.
I get out of my car and walk through the door.
The house feels empty and cold.
The memories from our breakup come flooding back to me in full force. Every feeling, every tear, and every word I uttered from that night coats the entire room, making it impossible to escape.
